« Poking, poking, poking. It is | Main | Roommate Dan's ultrachill friend Jessie »
September 19, 2002
I'm teetering on the fulcrum
I'm teetering on the fulcrum of a decision. On one side, life is too short to not be happy. I've seen people slave away at something in the sad hopes of being happy later. On the other side, the rewards from brobdingnagian levels of effort have always been more satisfying to me. I know that my life is richer because I've had to dig deep inside to find the resources. There are other options besides teaching that are available to me, they could make me equally happy, and would probably produce more money.
I vividly remember how terrifying junior high was to me. My hormone fueled adolescent angst overwhelmed my brain completely, and I was terrified of gym class. I was most definitely not the jock; that was my sister's job. I was smaller than a lot of the kids, and I didn't realize that having a brain was a bad thing. Within the first week, I had incurred the wrath of the local gang when my brilliant English teacher told the class I had wiped out the 40 point curve because I was the only person who made a perfect score on a test. I became a very good runner at that point in life.
It is also one of the most important chunks of my life. It is where I first began to conquer my fears, stand my ground, and define my own beliefs. Junior high is where I began to have real friends, where I had my first kiss, and where the chest hair started to show. It is where I learned that I could be a geek, yet also have friends that weren't geeks. I also made it through physical ed and dodgeball.
I can name quite a lot of bad teachers, and a few amazing teachers who showed me the wonders of blood types, Lord of the Flies, and playing Dr. Von Hapsburg in some horrible play. My voracious appetite for information today results from that period in my life. I am going to stick with the teaching for now, because I know that many of my favorite teachers probably also had problems when they started. However, I also will periodically step back up on that edge, see if I'm happy (or if I will soon be happier), and if I am helping these kids. Now I'm off to get some more coffee and grade a pile of papers.
Posted by G at September 19, 2002 04:35 PM