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December 30, 2002

My whole life I wanted

My whole life I wanted a big brother. I knew that my sadistic parents had simply shipped him off, both enjoying my suffering at the hands of my sisty uglers. I just didn't know that I would get a bevy of adopted brothers, guys that I now can say that I love. My new family stretches from coast to coast, tied together by horrifying moving trips, rough times, shared bathrooms, and fart jokes. Brian N is my musically talented brother, my mental opposite, drifting around whimsically and terrifyingly when it comes to bank accounts and lanes on the freeway. I love him. Evan is my brother I can always count on, to bring down the garage in the perfectly wrong direction, barbeque the perfect 'beer up the ass chicken,' or to sit quietly on the porch having a good beer. I love him too. Dave and my new sister-in-law Erin are there when I have to join the underground, ready with a fake identity, a Kiss costume, and a shovel. I love them also.

I'd never had a big brother until I came here to NYC. Dan's the cool older brother that I always wanted. He negotiates every conversation with ease, always makes people feel good about themselves, and let's me feel not only is it okay to be who I am, it could even be cool. Even better, he's the ubercool brother who lets me hang with his friends. He's the older brother I get to ask questions about sex. Hell, I started this silly blog because of him. I get to be the comic book sidekick, without all the stupid homoerotic overtones. So what the heck happens when the hero leaves? Do I change the costume, start my own comic franchise? Maybe ScooterBoy? A gay hero that races around on a souped up Vespa, doing superrenovations to homos in need...

I'm going to miss him a lot. He won't live that far away, but the distance will grow. It's the same with my other brothers, and my sisters. I miss the daily communication, the familiarity. I know I can pick up the phone or hang out, but it will be different than yelling across the loft, asking if something matches, or watching Buffy together, or laughing at each other's escapades.

Posted by G at December 30, 2002 12:19 AM