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February 27, 2003
I can tell that I'm
I can tell that I'm going slightly crazy when I take off my gloves, cap, and unzip my coat because the balmy 32 degree temperatures outside is just too toasty. Woohoo, 32! It's like my age but colder!
Miki corrected me. It's not Mickie, Micky, Micki, but Miki. Parents can be so cruel. My name is Glenn because the EXTRA 'n' makes it sound better.
Posted by G at 04:24 PM
February 25, 2003
Fun confrontation yesterday. I have
Fun confrontation yesterday. I have this great kid who has embraced the 'sullen, rude, hateful teenager' role so well he deserves an Oscar. His speech would definitely begin with "You don't like me! You REALLY don't like me!"
The entire period this angel disrupted the 8th period class. When I told him he couldn't get water (school rules), he screamed out that he hated me. Wonderful. I told him that I was ecstatic, now go ahead and sit down. He continued to disrupt the class, never opening his book, never doing any work. Finally, I turn back from the board and see him tweezing his eyebrows with a girl's makeup mirror. I tell him and the girl that if they're done with all the girl stuff, maybe they can do some math. "Girl stuff?!?! Girl Stuff!? I bet I've fucked more girls than you have this year, Mister! How many girls have you bagged this year?!"
Realistically, we know that both this boy and I have 'bagged' the same number of girls this year... zero. He has 'bagged' more girls in his dreams, certainly. I just sat there, flummoxed, too shocked to yell or laugh. I would never have done something like this at his age, even at full hormone insanity. Sometimes I just realize that my childhood, my upbringing, my entire value system were entirely different from what these kids have.
Posted by G at 09:50 PM
February 24, 2003
I had the pleasure last
I had the pleasure last week of free lunch and conversation with a very nice guy named Matt. He did a Google search for NYC Teaching Fellows Math Immersion and my blog was up at the top of the list. Other bloggers apparently show up for ""freaky gay porn"" or ""a picture of jesus smoking a cigarette"." I show up on Google for math. He's been reading it for some time and wanted to ask me about the program, as he has just been chosen to join. He's nervous about it, especially after reading my blog, I guess. Who could think there is anything less than perfect about the program, especially after reading my site?
He's a wonderful guy, looking to help others, looking to change directions, looking for challenges. He's scared of the costs to himself, his girlfriend, his life. It was funny, because he'll be great. None of us are perfect in the program, we're all just people who were geeky enough to enjoy solving math puzzles in high school and college. We all had one or two good math teachers who made a difference, and we would probably put those people on our hero lists. We'd like to be heroes. Heroes leap into the tempest. Most of my friends in the program are in the same boat I am, barely keeping afloat in the currents of the department of education. It is still wonderful to watch all of us tearing apart a puzzle in our evening classes, as we still love math. I'm getting better every day as a teacher, even though I know I am far from perfect. Plus I'm drinking milk so I'll grow up to whup ass!
Matt had an interesting question, and it is something that I've pondered occasionally. I've had friends who have lost their jobs because of their blogs, alienated family, and been harassed by hate mail. What would happen if someone from my school or my Dad's side of the family found my site? Even though I removed it from the site rather quickly, Google still shows my site when you look for my name. I have serious doubts as to whether ANY of my students or relatives can turn on a computer, much less do a Google search, but they could get lucky.
What would happen to me? Some of my coworkers and administration are extremely homophobic, and my students' entire culture finds being gay worse than death. I think that all of my hard work could be invalidated just because of prejudice and fear. Most likely I would have to move to another school, just to avoid the stigma. I have no intention of stopping my writing. I'm not happy about being in the closet at work, but it would make work extremely hostile, and my kids don't have the necessary maturity or experience to handle it. I'll hope for the best, and prepare for the worst. Theoretically, it could be good, as it would give me a reason to move to a high school, which I would prefer anyway. Maybe I should leak the information?
Posted by G at 10:36 PM
So party cleanup was brief
So party cleanup was brief and fun. Drunken unWedding attendees swept up, cleaned up, and drank up. I didn't drink, miracle of miracles. Eight of us staggered back towards my place for a quick break before heading out to Williamsburg for an evening of dancing and partying. As we walked down my street, I warned some of the more inebriated revelers about some random dog poo in the path. They didn't need my advice, as they each unerringly swerved or staggered around it. This is one of those New York skills that comes with experience, I guess. Dog jobbers, homeless crazies, muggers- New Yorkers can avoid them autonomically. I'm just learning.
We went to the new bar Metropolitan, left fairly quickly. It was quite disappointing, as the snobby trustafundian level was through the roof. However, I enjoyed every rainy step along the route, as it gave me the opportunity to talk with Micky, Brin, Simon, and the other disorderlies. Went to Luxx, realized the peak of its popularity was some time ago, as some people my parents' age walked in the door. Not to be ageist, but I thought I was a little old for this club. Regardless, had fun, saw Mark, and went home. Of course, on my way home, my two graceful left feet stepped unerringly IN the dog poo.
Posted by G at 09:02 PM
February 23, 2003
Nothing like an unWedding to
Nothing like an unWedding to make Martha hang her anal-retentive head in shame. Dan's wedding to Rooster was a wonderful event that astounded me. It managed to be lively while soothing, economical without being cheap, sweet yet funny, and classy yet casual. Dan is a god who basically thinks of everything. The Chinese New Year theme was perfect for the space, their Maoist jackets were quite swank, and the music mix needs to be sold for other occasions. There were quite a few toasts to Sparky, but little about Rooster. Numerically, Dan's guests outnumbered Stephen's 5 to 1. This shows Dan's godlike ability to network and connect with people, plus his family's propensity towards extensive proliferation. I enjoyed keeping the drinks flowing and watching the eddies of fascinating people swirl around the room.
I'd like to make my own toast to Stephen, post wedding. I had the amazing good fortune to have Sparky as a roommate, but more importantly, I also had the fortune of meeting Stephen. He has one of the best souls I have ever encountered. Generous and loving to a fault, a brilliant cook, a brilliant mind, and a person who finishes things. Plus he's a literate cracker from a southern state, just like me.
Dan is one of the most brilliant and talented people I have ever met. However, he would not have a chance to shine if he didn't have Stephen. Dan is like an idiot savant (sorry, Dan). He's like a Rainman with weddings, databases, and ultracool digs, but cleaning the bathroom or cooking anything beyond slicing cheese are a bit of a mystery to him. I saw their initial dating phase, I saw the rocky phase, I saw the forging of a bond I aspire to achieve myself some day. I love them both and wish them the best.
Posted by G at 10:28 PM
February 21, 2003
Whew. I just received some
Whew. I just received some emails that glennalicious was gone. They were right, I was terrified (I hadn't backed up since November), but I went to blogger and was able to post. That seemed to fix it. Can't wait to see what other special tricks Google has planned for the site.
Posted by G at 10:18 AM
Is my blog dead or
Is my blog dead or missing? TESTING 1, TESTING 2, ....
Posted by G at 10:03 AM
February 18, 2003
I've been doing quite well
I've been doing quite well for the last week. I have so much stuff to blog about, but I'm at a loss as to what I should write. I really need some type of palm pilot or notepad to start writing ideas when they come to me. Things I've done:
Starting my vacation time
The protest (very late)
Superfun party with Dan'l/Lots of guys kissing
Hanging out with Athena
Teaching is changing into a better thing
I need to go to sleep. It's been a long day.
Posted by G at 11:16 PM
February 11, 2003
I can't remember who suggested
I can't remember who suggested this to me, not the new roommate Andrew, maybe it was Dan. Regardless, someone suggested a brilliant idea. For all of those kids in my classes who are failing horribly, we automate the process and practice eugenics. For the kids who get the low level 1's and 2's, we hand them their test scores.... and condoms. Equal opportunity requires that I also neuter the annoying yuppie kids that are smart but smarmy. I'm also fine with that idea.
Along the lines of new ideas, the kicky new roommate did one of those earth shattering paradigm shifts in life for me. I step into the shower this morning and almost shut down. I have lived here nearly a year experiencing the same vague annoyance the entire time. I'm not the most graceful gazelle to prance around in our dinky shower stall, so I constantly knock things off the little shelves on the shower wall. There was an awkwardly placed mirror to the left that was useless unless you scrunched to the left, and then the annoying shelf. Andrew moved in and switched them around immediately. Heaven! If I need the mirror for shaving the head, it is directly in front of me. The shelf is out of harm's way, and I'm a happy naked wet camper.
Posted by G at 09:06 PM
February 10, 2003
If anyone else feels as
If anyone else feels as strongly as I do about not bombing Iraq, join me and thousands of others at this United for Peace Rally in NYC February 15th.
Posted by G at 08:45 PM
Oh yeah, baby, check out
Oh yeah, baby, check out THESE triglycerides! After the horrifying news in September that various dangerous fat bits globbing their ways through my arteries were DOUBLE the safe level for someone my age, I have lowered them to ten points below average. I am so ecstatic that I'm going to go to Krispy Kreme tomorrow...
Posted by G at 08:07 PM
February 09, 2003
God bless Uffish Chris, she
God bless Uffish Chris, she has a heart of gold and a knack for cool links. I think more sites like this should be developed.
Posted by G at 09:22 PM
I had the perfect opportunity
I had the perfect opportunity to converse with my head dean and assistant principal of my school on Friday. I asked them to give me their absolutely honest opinion of my performance. I share a wall with the dean's office, and on numerous occasions one of them comes over to yell because my kids are so out of control. They had both just had a meeting with the parent of one of my new demons who has just been transferred to my class. I told them to tell me the truth, that I was one of the worst teachers in the school. They both laughed and told me I wasn't even in the top ten. We then had an informal review, both of them giving me some really good advice to improve class management. We were laughing about some events that have happened in my class,
I left feeling slightly better, then I got to the stairwell. Hey! I'm a math teacher, and that wasn't such a great ranking! Even if I'm not in the Kasey Kasem Top Ten Terrible Teachers, that means I'm probably in the next group, which means I'm in the bottom fifty percentile of teachers at my school. Damn, damn, damn. My entire life, I've always been in the top quartile of anything I've set my mind to accomplish, and more usually the top one percent. It's not ego, it's hard work and a wee bit of obsessive/compulsive behavior.
The more I live my life, the more I find the challenges expanding. This last summer I confronted the very real possibility of failing at the Math Immersion program, and I aced the qualification exams after working 25 hours a day. Now I'm a first year teacher having his ass spanked every day, grateful to be in the bottom fifty percent of teachers. Woohoo, there are at least ten teachers who are apparently in an advanced vegetative state that allow the children to eat poop or something. My kids just get into fights nearly every day, leave the room without my permission, and steal anything that isn't bolted down. I know I'm not a failure, but I sure as hell am not a success either. There are no plans for a "Mr. Family Name's Opus" in the theaters any time soon.
Posted by G at 07:16 PM
February 06, 2003
Shaved head, goatee, broken nose,
Shaved head, goatee, broken nose, arms as hairy as a monkey. Sleeves always rolled up, Swatch always attached to the left sleeve. These are the things that make me feel unique, what I think other people see.
Fascinating when I change something slightly. It's the winter, I have no hair, I'm freezing to death in my own home, I wear a stocking cap. Badabing! Suddenly I apparently look like Jason Lee, the amusingly sarcastic character in all those Kevin Smith films(I). I've been stopped in restaurants, on the street, in police lineups. I can't really decide if this is a good thing. He's famous, yes. His voice is terribly sexy, and he could talk my clothes off with one of those sarcastic tirades. We are the same age, people like him, I guess this is a good thing.
This is better than the annoying comparisons to other bald guys, just because I shave my head. My junior high lovelies constantly ask me if I'm Steve Austin, the wrestler. Yeah, that's me, the steroid freak with biceps the size of a dancing baby. I'm a bit happier with the new reference to Colin Farrell (I), as he is the dead sexy guy who plays Bullseye in the dreadful looking Daredevil film. I don't even remotely look like him when he has hair, but he has a shaved head and goatee. Of course, he also has this HUGE ZIT or something on his forehead in the film, so it is slightly frustrating to be linked to that role, as it reminds me of those incredibly annoying days when acne strikes.
I just want to get to the day where some other sap with a shaved head and goatee is told that they look just like Glenn, that wildly successful carpenter/professor/scientist/writer/singer, kind of like Buckaroo Banzai.
Posted by G at 09:55 PM
February 04, 2003
Last week I was coughing
Last week I was coughing up lungs, so I went to the doctor. While there, I had a cholesterol test, my first since the report in the fall of wild chunks of lard lumping through my veins. Results are still not in.
I'm terrible after a test. As Daphne and I drove to our first university class of the semester yesterday, we drove past a White Castle. I never eat there any more, but I knew that I had a date with cholesterol destiny after Education 763.23X. I know that their food is hot buttered death, but those little bacon cheeseburgers are little fat bombs of tastiness. I can't help it, I've been really good!
My rhapsodizing about their burgers was so enticing that two other teachers joined me there. We're talking about lessons, and this woman joins in our conversation. We did not invite it, and I immediately got the impression that she was absolutely barking doolally mad. Everyone in the Castle knew that King George was on the loose again, but I thought that I was managing to avoid this situation. I didn't make eye contact, I didn't encourage her, but I still don't have that fine balance that other New Yorkers have. By the time my three bacon covered heart stoppers arrived, soaking through their cardboard containers, she was screaming obscenities. Sad thing is, she had NOTHING on junior high kids, either for insanity or crudity.
Posted by G at 10:46 PM
Lubbock is SO popular in
Lubbock is SO popular in the news right now. Not only is this news, I know this teacher. He was a regular coffee customer of mine in Lubbock when I was a barista at J&B Coffee, and I knew he was batting on my team. He's quite famous in the university for being quite an ass, but a fairly good teacher. The general consensus among students is that he favors boys in his classes, although I personally have never been in any of his classes. The only thing I can say is that he is a very good tipper, which is one of the best ways in the world to judge a person.
Posted by G at 10:33 PM
February 03, 2003
As I ponder killing children
As I ponder killing children (the list of ways keeps getting longer and longer, throttling or poisoning no longer suffice), I have developed this wonderful escapist fantasy. The fantasies aren't terribly complex, as they don't need alibis, escapes, or clever ruses. I'm not afraid of punishment.
Prison life wouldn't be so bad. Obviously, the gay sex is not a problem. I'll avoid becoming the junior high man-bitch, using my patented teacher stare. I don't particularly have a prison sex fantasy, but groups of men in shower scenes sound rather fun.
I'd be able to work out daily, getting all buffed up, eventually have those killer abs I've always wanted. I could catch up on my reading, watch tv, pursue my masters without the distraction of commutes and deadlines, and probably continue writing my blog. I get free healthcare, free cable, no rent, and get repetitive labor, which I love. I do my best thinking when my hands are occupied.
Best of all, no junior high kids (although I bet some of my kids will eventually show up). Someone please tell me the downside.
Posted by G at 08:48 PM
February 02, 2003
I have to admit that
I have to admit that I'm a closet mary. Not a mary that is in the closet, but a mary who has issues with closets. And not those proverbial closets, but actual closets. I've had to deal with this really small wardrobe in my room as my only closet space since I've moved here, and I've hated it. I have lots of clothes, not necessarily good tasteful clothes, but still my clothes. I had clothes in bags, on my footlocker, in my footlocker, under my bed, on my bed. I really hated it.
Losing Dan as a roommate was a tragedy, but it was a real windfall, just like a death in the family. Sure, you lose the person, but you gain their stuff! Boohoohoo woohoo! He gave me a bunch of kicky hipster clothes that weren't hip enough to transport to his new smaller space, and he also gave me his AMAZING SIX FOOT SERIOUSLY FRIGGING HEAVY STEEL clothes rack. I've pulled out all of my clothes and discovered that I have enough clothes to fill the length of the rack, although not necessarily with really kicky clothes. Those are on the last two feet or so. Maybe less. Okay, a foot. Okay, room for the shirts to swing freely and separately.
Regardless, this also pointed out another of my random obsessions. Some clothes fiends have things for shoes, or shirts, or socks. I have so many Pop Swatches that I have a bowl filled with them at the end of my bed. If I don't cover them with a towel, the ticking at night drives the dog out of the room. The cost for replacement batteries is about $50 every year. I can't help it, I just love them and their shiny happy faces. I hate Daylight Savings Time, as it is a real chore when you have twenty watches to adjust. I have so many Pop Swatches that I can't keep track of them. I've gradually noticed that there has been a drop in number, but I couldn't identify individual Pop Swatches that were missing, forcing me to deal with PMPSAD, or Post Misplacement Pop Swatch Anxiety Disorder. The symptoms include, but are not limited to, frantically checking my left arm for ticking, chronic lateness, and a vague shuffling around the room in the morning looking for a matching watch.
As I hung up all these shirts, I found seven Swatches attached to shirts from the foot locker, the floor, under the bed. Some of them still had the time from before the time change. My constant misplacement of objects is well known to all of my friends, so keeping track of all of them is hopeless. Well, I think I'm back to a full number. I think.
Posted by G at 07:20 PM