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July 07, 2003
Hotel GansFamily Name
Welcome to the Boarding House for Diverse Gay Men, you'll have to take the hammock, I'm afraid. 1400 square feet is great, but the Swanktuary is getting a bit smaller by the day. Texas Chris just moved back into NYC, Teaching Fellow Michael is still in the training program, NY Dennis is still waiting tables, and Idaho Bryan is healing up nicely. Currently Bryan and Dennis are snoring/coughing it up in the back bedroom, Michael is on the guest futon, Chris is on the couch, and I'm in my bedroom with Bear. Bear takes up most of my bed when she sprawls languorously across the comforter.
The crowd really isn't all that bad, really, as we are never home at the same time. Bryan and Dennis are nocturnal animals who shun the light of day, Michael is out by 8am, and Chris will be exploring the city. The only issues are fridge/shelf space and the bathroom nightmare. Five gay men, one small bathroom. If this were a movie on the Spice Channel, we'd be sharing the showers and helping each other shave (chickapow). In real life, we're trying to prevent mold from eating the shower curtain, wondering who didn't flush the toilet, and just trying to keep it clean. I can't wait to see the utilities this month.
Apparently Dennis snores loudly enough to trigger smothering fantasies among the other roommates, but I don't hear anything. Lucky me. Sometimes I hear him in the morning when I make the coffee, but I usually mistake it for the garbage trucks rumbling by outside the window or the chainsaw murderer on the third floor.
There are definite bonuses to the situation. Something strange is always going on 24 hours a day. Each guy contributes something unique to the group, and I bet we'd be amazing as a Trivial Pursuit team. Our movie/music/book collection rivals the Bushwick Public Library, that's for sure. Bear gets walked all the time.
We're like Three Men and a Baby, except there's no baby, and we aren't as gay as those guys in the film.
Posted by G at July 7, 2003 01:32 AM
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Comments
A box of 20 squishy foam earplugs costs about 5 dollars, and I can no stress enough how much they help contribute to a happy home. Take it from one who knows.
Posted by: Sparky at July 7, 2003 07:26 AM
Sparky is absolutely right. I started wearing earplugs 4 years ago, when I had an upstairs neighbor who clomped like a Clydesdale and sounded like he was shtupping on a pogo stick. I haven't had a bad night's sleep since.
Posted by: kayo at July 7, 2003 10:40 AM
I totally agree with Sparky and Kayo.
I myself regularly use them.
Posted by: joao at July 7, 2003 03:25 PM
I will relay the information to those people who actually wake up in the middle of the night. When my head hits the pillow, Armageddon could occur and I'll maybe twitch in my sleep.
Posted by: Glenno at July 7, 2003 09:24 PM
HEH! Sounds like the first place I lived in when I moved to San Francisco! There were about 6 - 8 people living in what was technically a 3 bedroom apt. on the top floor of a 3 story walk-up. Every room has someone sleeping in it including the living room, no one really kept the same schedule, and only two people really cleaning (me being one of them)(that stopped after we went on strike)
Posted by: Lee at July 8, 2003 06:58 AM
This is roomie #5, Mike. I did invest in the earplugs...only $3.95 for a bunch and a cute little plastic travel tote to go with...I have been sleeping like a bastard...I mean baby...except now I can't hear the alarm. It rings for 30 minutes and is interpreted by me as a distant beeping in my dreams. The others must love it. I have been trying to keep up with the kitchen/bathroom cleaning. It doesn't bother me, it is how I am. All is well.
Posted by: Mike at July 10, 2003 12:27 AM