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October 30, 2003
work in progress
I think that writing in my blog clarifies things for me. I wrote in my blog that the hippie teacher had almost ruined blogging for me by making it a requirement. Writing enabled me to realize that she defined it as a chore. I know that I am the type of person who loves to do something until it’s a requirement. I love doing many things… as hobbies or as something voluntary. I enjoy cleaning my house. Command me to do it, and I’ll hate every minute. Give me a deadline, I’ll always go past it. I don’t really worry about independence until someone says I depend on something, then I ABSOLUTELY MUST be independent. I follow rules naturally, unless you tell me that I must follow the rules. Then I’ll jump off the nearest cliff, just because I’m mulish.
I had this friend Jen. We’re not really friends any more because she criticized me (for over half an hour) about always being late. Admittedly, I was wildly late to the freezing war protest rally, but it was just a protest milling about the streets. I think they managed just fine without my timely presence. Regardless, she told me I had to either always be on time or stop being her friend. If she had just said that I was an ass and really hurt her feelings, I would have made it a voluntary point to not be late for her. I can easily handle criticism, and most people know that they just need to tell me once.
I’m a work in progress. If you polled my ex-boyfriends, you would see a positive progression towards more attentiveness, more consideration, and better habits. I’m not a natural romantic, but I slowly learned that I should buy flowers, send cards, that kind of thing. But you need to tell me that you want that kind of thing, or I’ll just assume you’re like me.
Posted by G at October 30, 2003 12:28 AM
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