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January 28, 2004
Black and white, plus and minus
Winter plus-
School is out for the day.
Bear loves playing in the snow
Hot cocoa.
Winter minus-
My clothes are frozen to the wall in my bedroom (I'm serious)
My knee is aching and not too steady on ice
The kids will be extra nightmarish tomorrow
Stuck in the house, bored senseless
Posted by G at 08:30 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Angels of death
My poor sister Bonnie. As a child, she always wanted to be a veterinarian. However, she kills or maims almost any animal she touches. It's not really her fault, it's some kind of curse. She dropped Capri on her head, twice. She slammed the door on Bobby's head, other animals run away or get run over. Not quite as spectacular as Candace's dog in the thresher story, but animals still cower in the corners of cages at the pet store whenever Bonnie comes around. Her dog Chloe is alive after quite a few years, but I think the dog's peeing problem is a direct result of the knowledge that death lurks wherever Bonnie lurks.
I'm the same way with headphones. Since I was a child, I have had the remarkable ability to keep things working way beyond their normal service life. Stereos, cars, computers, boots, attempts at heterosexuality, you name it. I just can't keep headphones alive.
My cd player I took to central Asia? Headphones snapped on the flight to Uzbekistan, leaving a slight mark across the top of my head. CD player finally died three years later.
First set of earbuds for the iPod? Broken within a few weeks. Stepped on them while drinking with Simon one night. They made a pathetic crunch under my boots, little neodymium magnets suddenly making not-so-clear music.
Second set? Broken within six hours of purchase. Wires were caught by my Bear's ecstatic leaping before her evening walk, yanked out of my ears, and cracked on the floor. They lasted for some time, but would begin shocking my ear after about five weeks.
Third set? Stepped on them while getting out of bed.
Fourth set? Old roommate Brian from Dallas gave me a pair with extra long wires. Still work, but connecting wire is exposed, both have to be carefully wedged in my ears to avoid the broken plastic bits, and the spiffy plastic bits slide up and down the right wire. Plus the speaker on the right isn't really working, as I dropped it into my coffee at work.
I walked past the Circuit City in Union Square last weekend, and I could swear I heard their little boxes cringing backwards on the racks.
Posted by G at 11:37 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
January 26, 2004
Need book suggestions
I have a special dream. In this dream, I'm reading something fascinating approximately 500-800 pages thick. It has NOTHING to do with math or children, and it is read at about 35000 feet above the continental US, over the Pacific Ocean, and then on black sand beaches.
This dream book should be light enough for pausing, yet dense enough to be compelling. Something between Umberto Eco and Rowling. Magic realism is good, Grisham is evil. Sedaris is funny, Tolstoi is good.
I'm getting through these days by dreaming about this book.
Posted by G at 09:49 PM | Comments (11) | TrackBack
January 25, 2004
Global Warming
I'm almost willing to buy an SUV to pollute the atmosphere if I could get a little more global warming this winter. It has been over a week since the temperature has been above freezing, and I just think that NY needs a spectacular winter heat wave, rather than another snowfall.
Global warming is supposed to wreak havoc with the weather. Couldn't this be a super mild winter? Does it have to be huge stretches of dark, cold, windy weather? I want melting glaciers, caribou moving further north, and palm trees flourishing on 14th Street.
Posted by G at 08:01 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
I like my head scarf thing
Courtesy of a man who tested as Hitler, then JFK.
Posted by G at 01:24 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
January 22, 2004
If I were
a cannibal, I would only eat vegetarians. Every good hunter knows that herbivores taste better than omnivores.
Posted by G at 07:32 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
January 21, 2004
Absolute antipodal diets
Roommate Michael-
Dislikes Miracle Whip, prefers mayonnaise.
Hates that I leave canned food in the fridge.
Dislikes foods that involve dips, except guacamole (probably still eats it with a spoon).
Dislikes tofu, would never order from a chinese restaurant.
Prefers chunky peanut butter.
Likes all soups.
Loves pickles, olives, shrimp, popcorn.
Can eat cooked raisins.
Allergic to any chiles or peppers.
Roommate Glenn
Can only eat uncooked raisins.
HATES pickles, olives, and popcorn.
Only likes tomato soup.
Eats chinese restaurant tofu every day for lunch.
Dislikes chunky peanut butter.
Dislikes mayonnaise, prefers Miracle Whip.
Favorite foods involve dips and chips.
Loves putting chiles or peppers into EVERY food. Allergic to shrimp.
We seldom share foods, obviously. Thank god the third roommate just eats any of our food and doesn't tell us.
Posted by G at 09:11 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
January 19, 2004
Gay Bingo this Friday
I'll try to remember to do that Evite thing, but is anyone else interested in going to gay bingo at the Gay/Lesbian center in Manhattan this Friday
? Uffish Chris said it was really fun, and I want to go.
Posted by G at 10:35 PM | TrackBack
Time to get lei'd
I think that is how you spell it. I have basically sat in front of my computer for the last three days, trying to get a ticket. Online services are wonderful, but sometimes it can be extremely vexing. You jump through the hoops, kiss the right virtual asses, and you still don't get it.
Finally, after nearly three hours of exploring, I now have a ticket on Delta to Hawaii for my midwinter break. It cost me $800, but I will get enough frequent flyer miles from it to qualify for a free trip to England this summer.
I need this stretch of warmth and sunshine in the worst way. Luis said that I am a delicate flower, and he is absolutely right, at least as far as health goes. I've got another nasty cold, and I'm pissed. I already went through the whole month of December sick, so I should have this month healthy.
I am so excited now. This gives me the frantic time of one month to get in better shape, maybe begin a tan, and most importantly, a nice warm light at the end of the nasty cold NYC winter tunnel. Ron said I can stay with him, plus my friend Jay lives out there. What more could a man ask for?
Posted by G at 02:17 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
January 13, 2004
Medical miracles
This might get me as much ribbing as the Manilow lesson, but I'm feeling a bit befuthered, bewoldered, and boddled.
Ex-boyf Daniel took wonderful care of Bear while I was in London. Bear had a slight medical problem, so she was on some pills. When I picked her up, I noticed that Daniel had somehow jammed the cap onto the top of the medicine bottle.
At first I thought he had jammed it somehow. I have to admit that I smugly assumed that my mechanically-impaired ex had done something silly. However, I then discovered that the top of the pill bottle is threaded to fit threads just inside the pill bottle. This circumvents the whole safety lock. I investigated my bottles in the medicine cabinet, and THEY ARE THE EXACT SAME WAY.
I hate being late to the party.
Posted by G at 09:34 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
Intermittent sprinkles
Blogging has been such a sporadic event for the last month. Some of the randomness can be attributed to the season, some to the approaching thesis, and some to traveling. I also lay a huge virginal chunk of my writing dilemma across the altars of my idols’ cancelled blogs. So many people that I followed vicariously have moved on to other things, and I wonder if I should do the same. When better writers, better thinkers, and better creators leave the arena, I have to wonder if I shouldn’t follow their lead. I think I’ll make that decision when my blogdaddy Sparky drops out of the race.
Another funky part of avoiding my blog is my increasingly annoying iBook. The only thing more rapid than aging in gay years is aging in computer years. Because of strange interactions with electromagnetic fields, my laptop screen is a lurid red. My touchpad is increasingly erratic, the hard drive is woefully small, and my battery has a six minute charge. I go almost daily to the Apple site, yet I know that I will wait for another six months. I want to pay off all credit card debts before I make another major purchase, and the current debacle with my house in Lubbock has killed my disposable income.
Of course, I sound all preachy about paying off credit card debt, yet I just took a wonderful trip to the UK, and I’m looking at going to Hawaii in February. I am the pot calling the kettle bald, or some other mix of cliché.
Posted by G at 08:34 PM | TrackBack
January 10, 2004
Old Chicago songs and the Lord of the Rings
You're a hard, hobbit, to break.....
Posted by G at 12:13 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
January 07, 2004
Woohoo bubbly!
Bubbles of ecstatic joy floated in front of my classroom windows today, reflecting irridescent images of row houses curving back to the Empire State Building. Each one was successively popped by the little disappointments of the day, but the day started quite happily.
My principal presented me with a trash can. Not a new series of computers, not some workable chairs, and not exactly something transformative from a Disney film. After four months of having to sweep up my disgusting floor, I was still quite pleased. I've purchased many things for my classroom, but I fought against having to purchase my own trash can. It's bad enough that we don't have custodians because of budget cuts.
We were also informed today that our school has descended to SURR school status. This is the educational equivalent of the second count in boxing, the day before the expiration date on milk, or a gay bar just before they shut off the alcohol. If we have one more bad set of test results, they close the school. Apparently we will have tons of people observing us, lots of extra advisors, and sharks circling the school in a moat. I just want some chairs.
Posted by G at 06:16 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack
January 06, 2004
Scatological Culture
I'm not sure if it was the change from UK food to US food, or maybe the frozen/thawed/refrozen rice with my tofu yesterday. All I know is that I produced something vaguely reminiscent of one of those twiggy things from the Blair Witch Project.
I know this because I was dealing with an American culture toilet. Having seen Bear shit in the woods, living in Central Asia, Russia, and Europe, I feel it is safe to say that I have seen most major toilet designs.
My least favorite toilet is the Turkish pit toilet. Dig a hole, build a platform above it, hope you don't fall in afterwards. It's dark, smelly, and not a good place for reading Popular Mechanics.
Russians are better, but still not my style. It looks like a normal toilet from the outside, but inside there isn't any water for you, only a weird shelf. You make art on the shelf, then possibly spend some time analyzing it, except for the stench (did I mention the chronic intestinal parasites I dealt with in Central Asia and Russia?) You pull the plunger on the top of the tank, water shoots from the back of the toilet, and your latest sacrifice to the poop god shoots off the shelf into a pipe at the front.
Brits don't want to see it, don't want to smell it, can't admit they did it. They are the reason why we have books like "Everybody Poops." Their toilets are deep and dark, filled with water at the base, and you can't really prove you had a poop. It's like a ghost poop, as you think you pooped, but you can't see it or smell it. You almost popped a vein in your head, but there's nothing to see when you're done.
I'm not obsessive, at least not terribly so. I'm just American. Life, liberty, and the ability to see your own poop visible and relatively odor-free in water. Like freedom, it is something to be cherished. You're done, you look down, and you think, "Hmmmm, that really looks like a bust of Abraham Lincoln."
Posted by G at 09:46 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack