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July 21, 2004
Road Trip, Day 2
Missed the blueberry muffins, dangit. We arrived just in time to be trapped in the hotel breakfast room with a gaggle of children watching Barney on the television. An annoyingly sweet little girl bragged to her father that she had grabbed the last blueberry muffin. I sweetly considered killing her (pre-coffee) but decided that convincing Barney to eat his herbivore sidekick in front of weeping children would be more fun.
After leaving the hotel, we go to Clyde Peeling's REPTILAND. Not Reptile Land. Not ReptileLand. Oh no. Clyde Peeling's REPTILAND. Clyde is mighty proud of what he has done, and he should be. I think the zoo would be quite boring in the winter when every animal is torpid or estivating, but it was very nice in July. They had some really great snakes, frogs, some Galapogos tortoises, and a truly disgustingly malodorous Subway restaurant. Clyde's place also strangely included peacocks and emus, and the peacock was very amorous towards Kieran. Seeing this puffed up NBC representative buffeted by the breeze reminded me of playing chicken in the pool. Girls with enormous breasts should never be balanced atop boys with skinny legs.
A good road trip needs a good mascot. I'm not sure who made up this rule, although I'm pretty sure someone in Hollywood is responsible. Personally, I've always wanted to take a gnome on trips, but they're large, cumbersome, and tend to come alive to kill you at the most inopportune time. We debated kidnapping an idiot-savant for the Rainman theme, but we weren't going to Las Vegas. The Thelma and Louise theme was fun except for the suicide, and we haven't really had a Priscilla-esque series of events. Kieran does have the Wonder Woman theme on his iPod, so we've had a really gay moment, but nothing to the point of being in drag on top of a bus. We'll save that for next summer.
Our mascot presented herself in the REPTILAND's gift shop. Meet Sheila, our frilled lizard mascot. Considering that we are very poor boys driving a really sweet Mercedes, a lizard that puffs up to scare attackers seems appropriate. There's more to this day, but it will have to wait.
Posted by G at July 21, 2004 11:35 AM
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Comments
'Estivating'--nice. Now, there is a word I have never used before. Seems to signify something between composed and what I imagine an animal to do when 'estimating', sizing up, prey.
Posted by: Derrick at July 21, 2004 10:39 PM