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August 04, 2004
Yet another trip
I'm heading off to DFW again this weekend. My grandma is visiting my sister, so it is like meeting under a parley flag. She's a great woman, but I'm under a gag rule about discussing the GAY THING. Not easy when I visit the home territory of Arizona and every single relative (and there are thousands) asks if you are dating someone, when you are going to settle down, etc.
Losing my mom definitely convinced me that having issues with family does not preclude having relationships with them. Some of my relatives haven't spoken to each other in 20 years, and I don't like that. My Uncle Dick really was aptly named, but I still am friendly whenever I've seen him. I love and respect my grandma, and she went with me the first time I traveled to Europe.
That was a nightmare, as she had me plan the trip. Anyone who has ever traveled with me knows that I don't plan trips, they just happen. She never made her desires clear to me, so I planned a train trip across the continent. She had just lost my grandfather, and my parents were in the midst of their extremely messy divorce. Neither of us was particularly well suited for conversation at that point, and it put a major strain on our relationship for years. Nothing like sleeping in the same bed as your Grandma sans teeth to really freak out a boy. That's all I'm saying.
I'll see her, I'll listen to her, and I'll get to lie to her about dating. The funny thing is that I haven't really had any reason to lie until now. I was telling the truth before now when I said I didn't have any time. I didn't mention the boys, but she never specified gender. Nothing more fun than the pronoun game. Now I'm dating, so I'll just pull the tragedy trump card. Maybe I'll damage her hearing aid while still openly talking about gay dating, and she'll just nod sagely. What a cunning plan!
Posted by G at August 4, 2004 11:19 AM
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Comments
speaking from experieince with GA southerners / family re: taking about the "gay thang" - I am out to my brothers and parents - but still it is an issue not to be disccused. My sister-in-law asked me (at a SF rest with my brother / her husband) about my social life and when I began to talk of a man I was dating (in vary non-sexaul terms - just saying I was dating ...) my brother said: "Can we please not talk wbout this while I am trying to eat my dinner!" When asked when was a good time to discuss he replied never. It is just something they are willing to talk about and that is the way it is - I have expressed my sadness that I cannot share my full life with them - but so it is. My mom will go to her grave praying for my salvation from being gay so I can go to heaven. I will never change her mind - she is 82. again, so it is.
Posted by: JP at August 4, 2004 03:14 PM
ah, the pronoun game.....a game we never seem to be winning at. call me when you get in and maybe you can come by and see the new place and my spiffy new 20" apple lcd! ;)
love ya,
b-
Posted by: brian at August 4, 2004 10:42 PM
Hey! :-)
If you have any time to, give me a buzz when you hit town!
Posted by: James at August 5, 2004 10:53 PM
"Maybe I'll damage her hearing aid while still openly talking about gay dating, and she'll just nod sagely. What a cunning plan!"
Devilish, but speaking from experience..workable. Whenever I don't wanna talk too much to the hubby's chatty 81 year old Mum, I turn her hearing aid down. She thinks everyone's just being "quiet" and she nods off to sleep. Is that wrong? :o)
Posted by: pua at August 8, 2004 11:09 AM