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September 03, 2004
DishBitch
I haven’t had a dishwasher since I lived in Lubbock. In my loft, I am pretty much the dishbitch, and I find it rather fun. Dishwashers are quite convenient, but something about them feels too luxurious. We don’t have an electric can opener either.
I blame my attitude towards kitchen appliances on my father. He and his family have regaled me with stories of his bachelor days. Everyone tells me about the freezer that was a solid block of ice. Everyone tells me of his loading the dishes into the shower and using his own personal rinse cycle to clean the food off the prior day’s repast. My father actually feels that a young person’s first few years should be years of poverty and squalor. He feels quite strongly about this.
That’s why he had HUGE issues with my first apartment in Phoenix. It was a small, cheap apartment in a poorer section of town. Occasionally there were gunshots in the night, the crazy neighbor’s peacock yard behind us supplied the requisite curdling screams during the night, and we were the only young white boys in the complex. He was happy with all of that.
What he really hated was our dishwasher. I think he was genuinely concerned that I would develop some fatal character flaw from not having to do dishes manually. He almost lost control when he found out my mom had bought me an electric can opener. The veins popped on his head, he couldn’t talk, and I am certain they had a fight about it later. I really think he wanted me to open them with an axe or something. Whenever he would visit, his conversation would trail off, his eyes inexorably drawn to the despised dishwasher and can opener. I could see him visualizing headlines in some paper of the future: “Crazed boy put into prison. He owned a can opener.”
When it came time to move, he helped me pack. When I unpacked the next time, the can opener was nowhere to be found. He denies it, but I know he eliminated it. He sleeps better knowing that I learned the virtue of a hand operated can opener, and I know I narrowly avoided some kind of character flaw. I also now enjoy washing dishes.
Posted by G at September 3, 2004 01:41 AM
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Comments
Coincidently, I had a convo with my mother this evening about electric can openers and how she was happy that they don't have one now with Hurricane Frances Farmer bearing down on them in Florida threatening to knock out their electricity.
I don't own an electric can opener either. I DO have a left-handed manual one and I enjoy watching people trying to figure out why they have problems usuing it.
Posted by: Lee at September 3, 2004 05:29 AM
I like watching righties struggle with lefty tools, too, especially scissors. See how they feel. Not that I'm bitter.
Posted by: kayo at September 3, 2004 04:44 PM