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March 31, 2005
Bitchy, bitchy, bitchy
An assistant principal reminded me- you don't hate the student, you hate the behavior.
Let's just say that a couple of behaviors should be thrown out the window. I have this one kid who exhibits some pretty horrible behavior. On Monday he screamed/shrieked every two minutes, threw cubes (it was a volume experiment), and knocked another kid into some desks. This is not an isolated occurrence. He threatens other teachers, steals, and has none of the student honor stuff (don't snitch, don't steal from your best friend, that kind of thing).
Of the 35 homeworks assigned this quarter, he has completed 2. He asks me yesterday if he's passing for the quarter ending today. I tell him he's failing. He asks me what he can do to pass. He asks this on the day before the last day of the quarter.
What can you do, little student? I don't know, get in a time machine, go back to the beginning of the year, and stop being a little shit. How about that?
Posted by G at 04:41 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
March 30, 2005
Testing, Testing.
After numerous hours looking at tech support sites, most of the parts of the blog are working. Let's see if the comments will get another huge spam attack.
Posted by G at 11:05 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
March 29, 2005
The Hall of Science, Queens
I organized a trip for my students to the NY Hall of Science, located way out in Queens at 111th St. Someone please kill me if I ever decide to do something like this again. My principal is a huge fan of trips, so it wasn't that difficult to get authorization, but everything else was like pulling teeth. I had 3 teachers, but we needed 3 parents. 80 kids, and not a SINGLE parent could join. Fortunately, I was able to pull in one of the coordinators, and we cut the students down to less than fifty.
8:30 departure date turned into 9:30, and it took 90 minutes with three trains to arrive. I was that teacher who ruins your subway trip by loading up your space with screaming teenagers.
A, stop leaving your head out as the doors close.
M, stop doing chinups off the bars. You're kicking people in the head.
J, can you just whisper 'fuck' instead of screaming it across the car?
They were excited, they were enthusiastic, they were silly. They had a blast at the museum. I had a blast at the museum. I always learn at those places. They actually learned at this place.
The trip back was a little more hectic. Teachers were tired, students were tired, and the subway commuters were thrilled to be in the car with us.
I finally got everyone back to the school. Nobody died, nobody was killed. The senior teacher on the trip actually said I was quite organized, and that he'd do it again. I'm not really sure I would do it again, but give me a few weeks and a few beers.
Posted by G at 07:00 PM | TrackBack
March 28, 2005
School!
Andy had a link to this article about education blogs.
Personally, I'm glad mine didn't show up on their radar, as school is tough enough without the staff knowing. I've been pretty careful to keep my full name off the new blog.
Posted by G at 06:21 PM | TrackBack
March 26, 2005
Spilling my guts
I’ve learned that when I eat intestines with chopsticks, break up the large piece before trying to bite off a smaller piece.
I was actually okay with the chicken feet today, although I do find them like the Chinese version of barbeque ribs. Tasty, but a lot of work for a very small amount of food. They look really cute in their bowl, as if they’re signaling the waiter for the check.
The big bowl of brownish gray intestine pieces was a whole different dish. I took a larger piece with the chopsticks, as the smaller piece with the suction cup’ish parts looked too strange. I put it to my lips, tried to bite off a normal bite.
No such luck. For some reason I thought it would be better if I just put the whole thing in my mouth (how many times has THAT philosophy got me in trouble).
Then I tried to chew.
It squished. Both I and the strip of intestine knew that I was going to digest something designed for digestion, and I almost yarked. Thank goodness my training back in church camp kept me from bringing it up. I had to sternly tell my stomach in my best internal John Wayne voice, “That isn’t as bad as the three inch strip of scab off of Alison Hayney’s leg, or the human milkshake, or the bile and blood soaked fry.”
Aside from that, brunch was wonderful. Jaseis a wonderful guide, his sister and friends are great, and the conversation was great. I love dim sum, and I totally want to do it again.
Just no more tripe.
Posted by G at 07:18 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
March 25, 2005
Really good Friday
I have to say that if I'd known that I got off a Friday, I would have crucified four more to have the whole week off.
Happy Easter.
Posted by G at 05:48 PM | TrackBack
March 22, 2005
So much for comments
Oops. I am not so good at the whole subsystem maintenance thing, and apparently I can't even get the comment system working properly. I'll be working on it this week, and you can always click on my little "Email Me" over on the right to, well, email me.
Sorry. Upgrades always seem to kill me.
Posted by G at 11:05 PM | TrackBack
Spam A LOT
Sunday is a day of rest, unless you’re the former roommate of me. Poor Sparky had to work four hours updating my blog software to the latest version. It was tremendously difficult, and the Blacklist software still isn’t working, which now gives me 250-400 spams a day.
I asked him to update the software, as the spam comments were becoming really unmanageable. I’m sure that all of us need a link for poker sites, poke him sites, and pharmaceuticals, but I just didn’t want it to be part of my site.
Until I get it resolved properly, I’m only allowing TypeKey comments. Users who haven't yet created their own TypeKey accounts must go through the account-creation process before commenting on my site. This is a one-time process, and allows you to use TypeKey on any other TypeKey-enabled web sites. It only takes a minute for you, it doesn’t open you to spam, and it will save me about 45 minutes a day.
Until I can get the anti-spam software working again, I have to shut down the normal comment system. I’m really sorry about this, and my dreams involve me catching one of the spammer bastards and just beating the shit out of them. I’m serious.
Posted by G at 04:39 PM | TrackBack
March 19, 2005
Periphery
SCENE:
Friday night, exiting Derrick’s place enroute to Jeremy and David’s place for cocktails, walking down the street:
Derrick: What is wrong with that car?
Glenn: Hmmm, I think the radiator hose has blown. (Mental thoughts of going over to tell them to shut off their engine before they fry the engine)
WHAM!
Stars.
The woman to our left rushes up to me, Derrick is agog with fright, all is a bit fuzzy as I hold onto the street sign I just walked into. My temple is one giant pain spot, swiftly swelling into an egg. I tell the woman I’m fine, tell Derrick to not look at me, and then struggle not to laugh, as it hurts too much. Each giggle that erupts also causes searing pain, so I’m really focused on shutting down the pain.
Of course we still went to get cocktails. Perfect anesthetic.
Posted by G at 05:44 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
March 18, 2005
Hatfieldelas and the McLopezes
At my school, two girls bumped into each other a year ago. They looked at each other in a bitchy way, and it has escalated to dangerous levels. One of them is my student, and Friday had a confrontation in class with the girl from the 7th grade. This nasty girl (with serious body odor, as I know from separating the girls in a prior fight) was threatening my student with death from the smelly girl’s boyfriend. He’s in high school, and quite ugly.
This would just be a normal fight, except for the technology. My girl gets on her cellphone and calls her mom. Her mom calls up other family members, and soon an entire float of Hatfields is heading to the school to get the boyfriend and smelly girl.
Unfortunately, one of the cousins of my student is also related to the smelly girl, and calls up smelly girl’s mom. Smelly girl’s mom calls up the McCoys, and they all head for the school.
We teachers didn’t know any of this. I already had to deal with 3 other fights during the day in the school, and we’re usually relieved when fights occur outside the school. However, this fight was getting too large. In the end, my girl was knocked down and kicked in the head. The cousin, who is also a student, was cut in the face by the boyfriend of smelly girl. The boyfriend was hit in the head with a bat, and both mothers attacked each other.
What dismays me is that the parents encourage this behavior by engaging in this behavior. Nobody died this time, but they could have. And why? One girl bumped into another girl, one year ago. How lame.
Posted by G at 07:31 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
March 17, 2005
Apocalypse Now.
My mom raised me to firmly believe in apocalypses (holidays not included).
One of my favorite tourist spots once was the site of the largest eruption in North America, and could be the next one.
Everyone is watching Mt. Saint Helen, but it would be quite fun to watch Yellowstone erupt. I’ve been reading about it for years, especially since the reports of the huge dome rising under Lake Yellowstone started appearing.
Yellowstone sits on top of a hot spot of magma that has been active for millions of years. It’s a giant caldera that has periodically exploded, and theoretically it is due for another outbreak. Earthquakes have been increasing in frequency, new geysers have appeared, and Lake Yellowstone has a giant magma dome pushing upwards. Fascinating to a geek like me, just so you know.
I’m sure it would be a big surprise to Pat Robertson and his ilk if the next Yellowstone explosion ‘cleaned out’ the red states, as it has done in the past. He always blames natural disasters and terrorist attacks on liberalism, and it would be funny if a disaster happened across all of the flyover states.
Talk about kicking ash.
Posted by G at 10:17 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
March 14, 2005
Code of Conduct
Growing up, affection between males was displayed in very specific ways. My dad and every other male around me had the exact same habit.
Handshake. Firm, dry, just long enough to convey sincerity, just short enough to convey that the only thing you would ever touch would be their hand. Manly, manly, manly. John Wayne would be proud. Even hugging was inappropriate, unless someone was crippled and needing a temporary crutch. If they were crippled, they had to show severe pain before being permitted.
My first experiences with hugs were with my youth group in church. Hugging had certain distinct parameters also, such as only being permissible during a highly charged Christian moment. Charged moments usually happened when someone took the walk down to accept Christ as Lord and Savior, or during some prayer session, or during extremely motivational music.
I moved on to London and Europe, where people would pull you into a hug rather than shake hands. Their handshakes also didn’t meet the stringent Panhandle standards, usually losing points for limpness or sweatiness. Kissing of girls as a greeting was also encouraged.
Now I’m gay in NYC. Everyone kisses or does the hug with the face to face thing. I’m totally comfortable with it, but it dawned on me the other day that I’d actually prefer just shaking hands. Not with Derrick, as I’ll begin playing tonsil hockey in public. That’s different.
Kissing boys as a greeting can all sorts of ramifications. What if the other person doesn’t like it? What if it’s an ex? Do they think you’re trying to get some action? Does Abby have some advice on this?
Posted by G at 08:49 PM | Comments (15) | TrackBack
March 13, 2005
Math comedy
What did the elm say when it discovered it had triangles, quadrilaterals, and trapezoids instead of leaves? “Gee, Om A Tree!”
Last Wednesday and Thursday I had an illicit vacation. It is ostensibly called training at the UFT for the math program, but it is really just two days of math teachers getting together and talking about math stuff. I love going to these things, as it is a break from teaching mixed with resource/idea gathering. The food is good, and we often get supplies. All teachers are supply whores, just so you know. We save bags, cans, anything that can be used in lessons.
As far as humans go, I’m fairly funny. As far as teachers go, I’m pretty funny. When you put me in a room full of math teachers, I’m positively hysterical. Most math teachers are pretty serious, so I can have the whole room laughing pretty easily. Over the space of the two days, I think I was responsible for about ten huge uproars of laughter. Of course, math teachers find many strange things funny, so it wasn’t that hard.
I also endeared myself to a teacher working on the upper west side of Manhattan. As any math teacher should be, she was charmed sockless by my jokes and cheery nature (I had already imbibed five cups of coffee). She’s a good friend of the guy in charge of staff for the Manhattan region, so I’m updating my resume and contacting him on Monday. Yes, that means I’m finally taking the plunge to find a new job.
High time for that, I know.
Posted by G at 04:29 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
March 08, 2005
Bactrian!
I can NEVER remember the second camel group. I always remember Dromedary, but I always forget Bactrian. I am such a fool!
I'm here all alone in the house, and I'm just thinking about humps. Very strange. Maybe the second cup of hot cocoa is making me crazy, or maybe it's the wind howling outside.
Posted by G at 11:02 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack
March 07, 2005
Head Jobs
Bald heads are a wonderful thing, just so you know. It's not just the fun of a simple travel kit, or no wind-mussed hair, or the ability to just squeegee off water after a rain.
Derrick has discovered my weakness for head rubs. He's got it just right, after months of training. I'm not a big fan of the deep rubbing, more of light strokes across the scalp and forehead. If I'm drinking and I'm hot, chilled hands will leave me almost like a kitten when you grab it by the neck scruff. My conversations tend to drift regardless, but add in the element of a headrub, and they just dwindle away to mumbling.
Posted by G at 06:16 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
March 06, 2005
BAM!
Derrick and I went to BAM to see Laurie Anderson. We had such a great time, as she is just brilliant. I have to say that the violin thingie was a bit annoying, even though it is one of her signature acts. I loved her talking, but then she would pick up that infernal instrument and play something for about five minutes. Once or twice would have been perfect, as I wanted to hear it, but I much preferred her spoken word performance. I learned all sorts of fascinating information. I knew that Mars’ moons are named Phobos and Deimos, but I didn’t realize that those names mean fear and panic.
Fear and Panic are in the sky tonight. Enjoy.
Posted by G at 01:32 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
March 04, 2005
Note to self:
Having students use real materials to construct rectangles is good in theory, but difficult in reality. Don’t think you’re all clever because you decided to use coffee stirrers. Yes, they’re cheap, smaller than normal straws, and less pointy than toothpicks.
Spitballs launched through their little particle-accelerating tubes can actually break the speed of sound just before impacting on the chalkboard next to you. They weren’t aimed at the chalkboard. They were aimed at your big mutant bald head. Girls scream when hit, and the custodians yell at you for the thousands of straws now floating through the school. Next time use grid paper, or cut down on the oxygen in the room. That way, the little bastards sucking air through tiny holes will pass out. The good kids will only feel slightly euphoric.
Posted by G at 05:34 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
March 03, 2005
I've been memed! (meme'd?)
Everyone else moaned about doing it, so of course I wanted to do it. I'm a bit of a masochist that way.
Darling precious monkey Groc tagged me to do my music list.
No, really, I couldn't!
Well, okay. Really. Twist my arm.
1. Total amount of music files on your computer?
My iTunes has 7502 songs. I have about a hundred cd's that I haven't imported, and most people would agree that they should stay that way.
2. The last CD you bought was...
I bought William Shatner's Has Been. When I was a kid I fantasized about Captain Kirk, as he was ALWAYS losing his shirt. I like the fact that he can mock himself while still being respected. Ben Folds produced the album, and the duets are . The song about death keeps me chuckling on the subway. Chuckling on the subway scares other people.
3. What was the last song you listened to before reading this message?
Starbucked by Bond. Since I'm still typing, Oingo Boingo's cover of I am the Walrus just played. I've been on a bit of a guitar thing in the evening.
4. Write down five songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you.
Foolish Love by Rufus Wainwright. Fellow PC Volunteer JP let me listen while relaxing in Tashkent, and I loved it. Being strong and fragile at the same time, being in NYC, falling for a guy, it's all connected.
Under Pressure by Queen and Bowie. I listen to it all the time while walking to and from work. Nice song for motivation during teaching breakdowns, plus I think about family.
Tender Love by Force MDs. It was the first time I had ever slow danced, probably 9th grade. I danced with Lisa Eaton. I had a crush on her, and I wanted to kiss her, but I was too chicken. Lisa was a great dancer. Me, not so much.
Groove Me by King Floyd. I love that song. When I'm feeling particularly happy and romantic and bubbly, this is the song that always pops into my head. I could never picture myself doing it, but if I ever did a strip tease for Derrick, it would be to this song. Something involving a hat being thrown, or maybe a tie, even though I never wear ties.
Half a Man by Shannon Brown. Sexy rockabilly country song. Makes me wanna two-step, while doing karaoke. "Cute butt, sexy eyes. Tall and dark, I know what I like. Heart of gold, brain to match. Ain't gonna settle for less than that. Half a man, ain't enough." She sings it better than I do, but I'm a pretty good singer in the shower.
5. What 3 people are you going to pass this baton to and why?
Lee, of Eau de Humanity . He can make lists like no other. Plus I don't think he really wants to do it. That means he wants it, at least by my twisted logic.
Alan, of Some Amusing Blog Pun, because I want to see him mix the music with photos of hot and yummy gymnasts.
MzOuiser, because I need to know that females don't all listen to the crap that my kids listen to. Plus I bet she has some awesome music to adopt.
Posted by G at 09:45 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack