« Pointey Sisters | Main | Naughty things with Ken »
April 30, 2005
Tilt and Hurl
Six Flags was quite fun. It was Passover Day at the park, so yarmulkes were flying off of roller coasters, the big curly sideburns on Hasidic Jews were alternating between horizontal and vertical positions, and five gay boys were viewed as a serious anomaly.
I had a teacher moment when this one teenager tried to cut through the line to get to his friends at the very front. I blocked and mocked him instantly, astonishing most of the people around me. He gave some pathetic excuse while waving his cellphone, saying that his friends wanted to exit and they didn't have cellphones. I explained that the dumbest humans in the world are capable of exiting a rollercoaster on their own and that he should feel free to wait for them outside. I honestly hoped he would make a dash past me so I could have opened a can of whup on his ass.
Do not tempt the fates or a middle school teacher on break.
The lines were all short, the rollercoasters were all fun, and the food was all nightmarishly artificially good. Our last rollercoaster broke down, so we opted for those cute little teacups that seat five gay men in a crowded fashion. Our teacup was brown, as some little girls grabbed the pink one I was fancying. Once the ride started, we hauled down on the wheel, spinning that teacup until everything was blurry. I'm sure the half-hearted attempts by the little children around us were pathetic compared to the whirling vortex of gay power running our little teacup.
In about 90 seconds, I was pretty certain that if it didn't stop spinning, I was going to make a technicolor yawn all over my friends. Fortunately the ride stopped and five incredibly woozy gay boys staggered off as if under the traditional influence of alcohol. We drove home to our normal amusement park- New York City.
Posted by G at April 30, 2005 11:14 AM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.glennalicious.org/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/334
Comments
Sounds like you had a great time!
Posted by: Jess at April 30, 2005 11:29 AM
Nice arms on your friend there.
Posted by: sam at April 30, 2005 02:24 PM
I'm pretty sure I would have thrown up on that teacup ride.
Posted by: homer at April 30, 2005 07:16 PM
OH I wish I had seen that. the Teacher moment I mean.
You guys are so adorable. Look at you! Sounds like such the fun day. More pics?
Posted by: MzOuiser at May 1, 2005 12:49 PM
i'm with homer ... those spinning rides aren't for me ... i can take the biggest, baddest rollercoaster , just don't spin me right round like a record baby (sorry ... was momentarily channelling 'dead or alive')
Posted by: myke at May 1, 2005 02:45 PM
You're making me want to take a trip to Arlington soon and go to Six Flags over Texas.
Posted by: mark at May 2, 2005 10:07 AM
omg!
i am JEALOUS.
although my last time at six flags was in atlanta and being gay that far west of rt 75 is NOT ok.
Posted by: landry at May 2, 2005 01:55 PM
I'm with Homer and Myke, those rides that spin make me yak. Otherwise sounds like a blast. Glad you guys had a great time.
Posted by: mouse at May 2, 2005 06:28 PM
"Somebody gimme a Dixie cup! I think I'm gonna hurl!" - Garth, "Wayne's World"
Posted by: palochi at May 5, 2005 05:57 PM