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June 28, 2005
Bitter?
From the comments section of my blog:
MY are you getting bitter! Don't you realize that you're slowly turning into one of those hateful teachers you've always bitched about? Glenn, when are you going to call it a day and switch careers already (or at least teach somewhere much better)? You're too bright and talented to go down like this.
A fan
Hmmm.
I think teaching is a bit like having babies. No, we don't dilate to 15 centimeters, but we do labor for 9 months. We get fat, we eat lots of ice cream and weird snacks to cope, we get crazy, we get weepy, we get cranky, and yes, we get bitter (I'd prefer to call it tougher). Those with blogs bitch and moan, making the huffing, puffing, and pushing noises. And unlike those females who can produce a maximum of nine or so babies, we produce offspring that can number in the hundreds.
I don't think I'm turning into a hateful and bitter teacher. If anything, I enjoyed a lot of my job this year. I was also fairly effective, which does wonders for my feelings of self-worth. I know for certain that most teachers in my school, even the best ones, are exhausted at the end of the year. It is stiflingly hot, the kids are cranky, and you have to live with knowing that you let a few kids down. Whether or not it was my responsibility, I've lived with some of these kids for two or three years, and it is tough seeing them make bad decisions and fall on their faces.
I am far from perfect and beat myself up for it more than you can imagine, A Fan. However, I was pulled aside by my district superintendent yesterday. She told me that the first time she encountered me, she figured that I didn't have a chance in this school. Last year, she sat down with me and told me I needed to get tougher. She then went on to tell me how proud she was to now walk into my room at any given point and see kids learning, and that I was teaching them with love, respect, and much-needed toughness. I did get tougher, and I don't think that I lost too much of the nice side. If anything, I was able to ease up on my kids this year. She also told me how sad she was to lose me.
Today was my last day at my school. I packed all of my materials into boxes- all of the rulers, posters, puzzles, transparencies, protractors, and scissors. I swept up, turned off the lights, and closed the door.
Schools and other teachers know that with a few exceptions, good teaching is something that comes with experience. Three years in most other schools means you've finished the probation period. In a tough NYC school, it means you're a veteran. As the math coach at the new school, I'll be co-teaching with a new teacher and be in charge of the math department. It is also the best opportunity for additional training to make me more effective as a teacher.
So thank you for the comment, A Fan, although I think you're partially incorrect. I'm sorry that I mostly write about the bad things in my blog, but that is why I write. I bitch about the students and events, but I do that to get it out of my system and for encouragement. You don't get to see how I dealt with Student A the next day, used the situation to show the parents what was really going on with their son, and made sure that they are going into good counseling. You don't see that I pair every bad phone call to a parent with a good call to another parent. I should write more about that, and I will in the future.
I'm not getting bitter, I'm getting better. I swear.
Posted by G at June 28, 2005 07:28 PM
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Comments
Most of the blogs I read contain some posts about how annoying someone's job is...very rarely do people spend time talking about how great their workday is. Blogs are a place to vent, and I think you should feel completely welcome to do just that. However, it's also good to toot your own horn occasionally (hee hee) and let us know what a great job you're doing.
Posted by: Alan at June 28, 2005 09:15 PM
Hateful teacher?!?! You?!?!? WOW. Is that ever 100% wrong. While I've never been in one of your classrooms, from reading your blog over the years, I sure wish I had had a math teacher like you. Your dedication and your belief in the fundamental goodness of every child is inspiring! The attention you shower on your kids is above and beyond the duties of being a teacher. Mostly, your heartfelt desire to help your students grow up to be good people is something incredible. "A Fan" doesn't sound like much of a fan because, despite all your laudable attributes, it is readily apparent from reading your blog that you LOVE teaching. And, that, above all else, is why I admire you.
Posted by: Christopher at June 28, 2005 09:36 PM
Well said
Posted by: sam at June 28, 2005 10:30 PM
*grins and nods in agreement*
Posted by: Ron (Out There) at June 28, 2005 10:32 PM
I'm with Christopher. From reading your blog, I get an image of you as a thoughtful teacher who describes both the joys and the frustrations of the job. Hate and bitterness do not come through your writing. (Let's not even mention how ludicrous it is to make critical judgments on someone's character merely from reading a few blog entries!)
Posted by: Thom at June 29, 2005 11:31 AM
To "Fan":
You weren't riding with Mr. 'licious in a cab through the East Village last May, watching as he literally glowed with anticipation talking about his upcoming teaching position opportunities. He's not bitter, he's passionate. When you're truly passionate about something, you're verbalize the range from the worst to the best in your descriptions. Your passion requires you to take it all in, good and bad. If he truly was bitter and hated teaching, he'd only be complaining about the bad stuff, or not even talk about it at all.
G's passion to make an impact on his students is something I personally find amazing. We should all be so lucky to be in a career that makes us feel something about it and that we're doing some good among all the silly dysfunctions.
Posted by: palochi at June 29, 2005 12:17 PM
G, i have to fall in line and concur with palochi .. especially considering i was a teacher at one time myself and still work in a low paying stressful field (social work) so i know how venting can simply help relieve the stress. doesn't mean you're burning out .. it's just part of the job. and as an aside .. i've congratulated you on the new positon already but super super congrats on heading the math department. i'd actually say that's quite an achievement for someone still quite young in the field. can we see "principal G" in a few years??
Posted by: myke at June 30, 2005 01:28 PM
I once had a boyfriend who wanted to raise kids in the city. I said hell no, and cited the schools as part of the reason. Then I met G. Now I wonder if maybe it's not so bad, if there are teachers like him in the system.
For all your bitching G, you've changed the image of the NYC public schools in my mind. You make a difference not only to the students, but their parents.
I wonder if your "Fan" is not a teacher himself, and your stories hit a little close to home?
Posted by: MzOuiser at June 30, 2005 04:05 PM
Hi, I was looking at your website and thought you might be interested in a project I am working on.
Currently, I am a First Grade Teacher in Bronx, NY. I am compiling the personal, candid stories of NYC Public School Teachers for use in an upcoming book that explores the accomplishments, struggles, and everyday disappointments that are synonymous with being a NYC Public School Teacher. Specifically, I am searching for the stories that only teachers would ever know how to tell. Your contributions may focus on different aspects of life as a NYC Public School Teacher. Possible topics may include:
• Relationships with students
• Interaction with your principal, vice-principal or other administration
• Relationships with fellow teachers
• Constraints of curriculum demands
• Interaction with students’ parents and/or guardians
• School community
• Affects of teaching on your personal life
• School hierarchy
Of course, if you feel compelled to write about a topic that does not fit into one of the categories please do so.
Bottom line: Your voices are important. Your voices deserve to be acknowledged. Your voices need to be heard.
Thank you ahead of time for your honesty and courage. Please send your stories and include: Name, address, school’s borough, grade level taught, years of teaching experience, and whether you would like your name published or remain anonymous.
Entries can be mailed to the following address or email:
“Teachers Speak” teachersspeak@hotmail.com
346 West 84th Street
#3R
New York, NY 10024
Please visit my website and post a comment.
http://teachersspeak.blogspot.com
Thank you for choosing to be part of this journey!
Posted by: Teachers Speak at June 30, 2005 06:24 PM
"There's almost something darkly comic about it all. We place the highest demands on a profession, and not just through the teacher-quality provisions of the legislation. We have unarticulated expectations that teachers be morally and ethically unimpeachable, possessed of dynamic, compelling personalities and agile minds and capable of guiding the learning, for example, of 35 hormonally charged 13-year-olds right after lunch.
"After asking that of them, we pay them so little that they have to find work selling electronics and cleaning our houses. Is it any surprise that 45 percent of new teachers leave our schools within the first five years? "
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/27/opinion/27eggers.html?ex=1120363200&en=e572157fe6c8f8fe&ei=5070
Posted by: Christopher at July 1, 2005 08:04 PM
You present the challenges with a sense of humor, and share your frustrations, but always with an undergirding of care and passion for the kids.
Congrats on finishing the year! And good luck with the Coaching job ahead!
Posted by: Mr H.K. at July 1, 2005 09:22 PM
Wow, so what is next for you?
Posted by: Vern at July 4, 2005 02:05 PM
Congrats, G. My mom is really proud of you and honored to know you, as am I.
Posted by: Jen at July 5, 2005 09:46 PM