« Gnashing of teeth | Main | The tin or aluminum anniversary »
June 15, 2005
The inadvertent murder of my economics professor
My microeconomics teacher was amazing. She was smart, communicative, and her class was very useful.
I didn't inadvertently kill her.
This story is about my macroeconomics professor.
I inadvertently killed him.
When I pay for classes, I expect a certain amount of utility from the class and clarity in the class. It's my money, and as long as I'm showing up and doing all my work, I expect the teacher to deliver the same effort.
I can't remember what his name was, but he had claws for hands. Either his mother had used thalidomide, or there was some other genetic defect.
Unfortunately for him, his hands were the ONLY things interesting about him. He had no real knowledge of economics, would yell at students who questioned him or his theories, and would talk endlessly about his divorce from his wife. Students knew more about his wife's unfair seizure of their rental property in Kentucky than about the laws of supply and demand.
I argued rather fiercely with him on occasion, and he would always turn this florid red color and just scream at me to never question him. When the final came around, I was the only student in the class who passed (with a 96, I should mention), and he was screaming at all of the class on the last day. He told them that they were a lousy bunch of students, that none of them listened, and that all of them deserved to fail. I was seriously done with him.
I told him in front of the class that he was the most incompetent teacher in the history of mankind to grace a classroom. I told him that the only reason I passed his class was because I ignored him and read the book. I told him that his teaching was a joke, that his wife was smart to have fled somewhere so she didn't have to listen to his endless whining, and that the entire class was going to rip him apart in evaluations.
He just stood there, clacking his claws together mutely, face suffused with blood, then he erupted with screams. He told me to get out of the room and never talk to him again. I told him I was happy to leave with my A, and good riddance to him. He slammed the door on my way out.
Apparently he had a heart attack that night. I feel partially to blame, but I know that I was probably only one of the final triggers. I guess I should have just complained to the dean, but it was too satisfying to tell him off in person.
I haven't killed anyone else since then, I swear.
Posted by G at June 15, 2005 03:54 PM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.glennalicious.org/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/355
Comments
How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless student. ;)
Posted by: Alan at June 15, 2005 04:27 PM
Yowsa! Please go lightly on the future comments on my blog!
Posted by: Mr H.K. at June 15, 2005 05:15 PM
er, on second thought, perhaps i may be too busy to join you for a spa day when you are in dallas.
Posted by: jiminy at June 15, 2005 11:20 PM
Econmics is what killed him. It can kill anyone especially since no one knows of its stealth-like ways. Beware microeconmics!
Posted by: Lee at June 16, 2005 02:54 AM
wow, how can i have known you for this long and never heard that story????? are you holding out on more good stuff? what else do we not know? were you an underworld kingpin? cia operative? pawn of the religious right? or worse.....closet heterosexual? don't make me go digging for dirt......
Posted by: brian at June 16, 2005 08:14 AM
well, look at it this way .. if he hadn't succomed that night, it woulda happened another anyway. ... with those type of angry eruptions, he was bound to kick the heart attack button some day or night. regardless, i think you did the right thing. professors like that deserve a good telling off.
Posted by: myke at June 16, 2005 03:37 PM
well, look at it this way .. if he hadn't succomed that night, it woulda happened another anyway. ... with those type of angry eruptions, he was bound to kick the heart attack button some day or night. regardless, i think you did the right thing. professors like that deserve a good verbal lashing.
Posted by: myke at June 16, 2005 03:42 PM
That's a bit scary, G.
Posted by: sam at June 16, 2005 04:11 PM
Umm. You killed your teacher. And uh.... umm.... aren't you yourself now...... a teacher?
I hope you don't believe in karma. Just in case, ya better invest in some Lipitor.
Posted by: Chris at June 16, 2005 05:05 PM
I once read about two economic professors who had lunch and bored each other to death. True story!
Actually, I always felt people pursue economics when they can't stand the break-neck pace of accounting.
Posted by: Jim at June 16, 2005 07:50 PM
And you seemed like such a peaceful guy when we hung out.
Please, this guy was a disaster waiting to happen long before you ever walked into his so-called class. Can you imagine what his wife went through?
Those who cannot control their drama are doomed to live and die by it -- even ones with lobster-like appendages.
However, I might think about what Chris said. Karma, baby... karma. Not that I think you'd ever be capable of it, just don't ever turn into idiot bad waste-my-student's-time yelling teacher guy. The world is too full of them already.
"Words are weapons, sharper than knives... makes you wonder how the other half dies..." - Michael Hutchence, INXS
Posted by: palochi at June 17, 2005 12:36 PM
You killed me softly with your furry arms.
Posted by: jimbo at June 17, 2005 03:31 PM
I learn something new every day. I always thought it was jury-rigging, but Jerry-rigging makes so much more sense. It should be Russian rigging, as they are the masters of making things work with bubblegum and shoestring.
Posted by: glenn at June 18, 2005 09:07 AM
I can't believe I didn't read this until today. Wow. Is it wrong for me to find this entertaining? I have often wished I could claim responsibility for whatever finally kicked off my Mr. Karp acting teacher a few years ago. But then, you know, karma. Probably best I'm not.
And I doubt you are either.
Posted by: MzOuiser at June 20, 2005 05:07 PM