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July 26, 2005
The forest
So I went camping in Georgia.
I decided to hike around on a state trail at dusk. The forest was buzzing with insects, the sun was slowly sinking, and it was a great moment.
Then the sun went down. I forgot one thing.
I don't like the forest at night. In fact, I get totally freaked out. This is a result of my dad habitually dropping out of trees at our old cabin.
My dad relished terrifying his young children. Mom would often send us to the basement (lightswitch at the bottom of the stairs) for something, knowing that dad was waiting under the stairs. The cruelest part was that he would wait to grab our legs until we were heading back up. Terror is so much stronger when you see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Back to the Georgia forests. It was seriously dark, and I was ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY CERTAIN that Bigfoot was going to come out and get me.
It took every adult cell in my body to keep from shrieking and running. I saw the end of the trail and my car, and it was the light at the end of the tunnel.
I expected my dad to grab my legs from underneath the car, but he wasn't there.
I guess I'm all grown up.
Posted by G at July 26, 2005 09:18 PM
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Comments
Great post. :-)
Posted by: jessie at July 27, 2005 02:28 AM
That ain't camping. That was a cabin. A CABIN! Camping involves a tent, fire, and body odor. (The last one is negotiable.)
You were..... um..... "cabining." I prefer "tenting." Hmmm. In many ways, indeed.
Oh, and for the record. Your dad wasn't ubder your car ready to grab your legs and scare you or rip you apart into little pieces.
That was me.
Posted by: Chris at July 27, 2005 10:34 AM
I really miss hiking and camping in the hills of North Georgia. You can't really do that much in Florida, - something is bound to bite or eat you.
Posted by: ThatGuy at July 27, 2005 10:58 AM
I know it was "cabining," but it is as rough as I like to get any more. I'm a big fan of beds and hot water in the morning. Coffee over a campfire is great, as long as I can take a hot shower at some point during the day. Remember, camp is a noun, verb, and for me, an adjective.
And I'm not squirrely unless I'm alone. I've watched enough horror videos to know that monsters only eat the people that are alone.
Posted by: glenn at July 27, 2005 03:17 PM
My dad used to sneak up behind me or my mom and suddenly yell "SQUAWK!" while poking us in the ribs. It totally cracked him up.
Posted by: Mush at July 27, 2005 04:38 PM
That whole little set up reminds me of 'camp crystal lake' from the old friday the 13th movies. I can just see you walking along that trail and hearing the little murmuring sound in the background and the whisper of 'jason jason jason'. Then you'd shriek wildly and go running really fast while jason would still be able to keep up with you even though he was walking quite slow. Of course, he'd end up giving up on you as he really wanted to slice up the teens having sex in the cabin next door.
Posted by: myke at July 27, 2005 04:42 PM
Anywhere in the hills of Georgia, day or night, would be scary enough for me.
(hears theme to "Deliverance" in my head)
You're brave, you are.
Posted by: palochi at July 27, 2005 05:15 PM
Sounds like fun!
Where's my Scout knife?
Cheers,
Mr. H.K.
Postcards from Hell's
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Posted by: Mr H.K. at July 27, 2005 05:35 PM
To quote Lea DeLaria - My version of roughing it is a hotel with no room service.
And monsters actually only attack people who are along and are horny teenagers.
Posted by: Lee at July 28, 2005 02:53 AM
Oh God, I was such a scared little kid that if my dad had done that under-the-stairs thing I would have just dropped dead right then and there.
Actually, if someone did that to me now I'm not sure I wouldn't have to be hospitalized.
Posted by: Eric at July 28, 2005 07:45 AM
Amazing how those childhood experiences can have an impact on us for the rest of our lives.
Posted by: Jess at July 28, 2005 09:08 PM
Did you get a chance to stop in Atlanta? We are the queer capital of da South
Posted by: Coffeedog at July 29, 2005 06:13 AM
You nut. Don't you know that Bigfoot lives up here in the Northwest?
Greg from Oregon
Posted by: Greg at July 29, 2005 01:21 PM