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July 12, 2005
The Mo in MO
Had a great lunch with Palochi, until he was eaten by the frilled lizard from the last road trip.
I then went for a lovely jaunt all the way to Springfield, Missouri. I just have to say that in the space of four miles, I encountered:
Porn in a former Stuckeys.
A sign paid for by a church that Porn in a former Stuckeys will send you to hell.
The center of all Ozark culture, including knives and fireworks, and 16" dolls with extra fingers and toes.
A building filled with bears, but not the gay kind. More of the kind with little flags sewed onto their bodies.
Can you imagine their high school mascot?
I will blog more about my hatred of Precious Moments. I was tempted to go on a smashing rampage inside, but I thought they might be one of those indoctrination centers.
All in one state? When can I move?
I finished up by staying the night in Springfield. I walked into the hotel after I had reserved a room on the phone. I was promptly surrounded by a swarm of rednecks and their families, all screaming. I had no idea that it was the gateway to Branson. That place scares me.
Posted by G at July 12, 2005 07:24 PM
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Comments
You look very ferocious with that knife. Ok, well .. not really. It's actually a cute looking picture.
Posted by: myke at July 12, 2005 09:21 PM
I didn't know anything could be worse than a Stuckey's!Adult porn served up hot 'n' greasy by a waitress named Blanche with a overly hairsprayed beehive hairdo! Hmm-Hmm!
Posted by: Lee at July 12, 2005 11:31 PM
Wait, so did you actually GO to the Precious Moments chapel? I went once and it was the freakiest, most disturbing thing ever.
Mine was the only car in the parking lot with a Darwin fish and a rainbow flag on it, I assure you.
Posted by: Chris at July 12, 2005 11:55 PM
G, do you suddenly feel the need to start shouting, "The power of Christ compels you!!!" Over and over again?
Posted by: homer at July 13, 2005 12:43 AM
Which circle of hell is Branson? And remember, don't look directly into Yakov Smirnoff's eyes; they'll steal your soul.
Posted by: Crash at July 13, 2005 12:59 AM
either i have really poor eyesight or the pc i originally looked at the post on had a sucky screen or i'm simply an idiot.
btw -- scott is such a tall man, ain't he?
continued safe travels.
Posted by: myke at July 13, 2005 07:39 AM
If you would like to come through "Colorful Colorado", I would love to be your tourguide, and drive you up the highest paved road in North America. Let me know.
Posted by: Carl at July 13, 2005 11:25 AM
G: Hottest. Pic of you. Ever. :-)
Posted by: palochi at July 13, 2005 03:55 PM
Waitaminnit! I have to comment again because... is that a Cock Soup t-shirt you're wearing?! While driving through Missouri?!
That's the bravest, retardedest thing EVER.
Posted by: Chris at July 17, 2005 10:16 PM
Oh Lord. My first boyfriend was from Joplin, MO, and he made me go to the Precious Moments Cathedral once, as a joke.
I was disturbed for years afterwards. It was really upsetting.
Posted by: Eric at July 18, 2005 07:45 AM
I have been to the Precious Moments chapel, and I have to say that it's an... experience. But then, I imagine root canal without anesthesia would be an experience too.
We had heard there was a strip club nearby called Precious Movements, but were sadly unable to locate it. In general, when passing through Missouri, I think the best advice I can give is, if you're traveling any route besides I-70, don't stop. Take it from one who lives here.
Posted by: Jeffrey at July 18, 2005 02:18 PM