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August 27, 2005
blogstopped
I'm stuck. Can't write.
Today was a really bad day, as it took over 7 hours and multiple cities in NJ to rent a car. I'm taking my dying laptop to Apple this evening.
Things are good, but I need some Exlax for this blog.
I'm off to Montreal for a few days with Derrick.
Posted by G at 05:07 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
August 24, 2005
Higher Order
Somewhere along the evolutionary line lies the hominid from whom I inherited my eating habits. Just like those very hirsute men, I really don't need implements. I'm perfectly satisfied tearing at haunches of meat or recently killed tofu. It gets even better if the food is wrapped in a tortilla. Who needs a spoon when tortilla chips can scoop up a bowl of chili?
Obviously, higher-order humans like Derrick don't get this. He'll try to make me a sandwich, but I've already spread mayo, cheese, and meat into a burrito. I can put anything in a burrito: chili, curries, salads, whole chickens, a hoof, that sort of thing. One time I put peanut butter and honey in a tortilla, microwaved it, and then blistered the roof of my mouth when the molten honey shot like sweet magma into my mouth. Other than that one incident, I've been pretty successful, as I've learned to gauge the heat of the meal through the lovely and efficient tortilla.
When I'm feeling particularly evolved, I'll drag my knuckles to the kitchen and go for the utensils. However, I really don't get small spoons. I can basically understand the difference between small forks and large forks. Small spoons are useless, as far as I'm concerned. If I were to try to eat soup with a tiny spoon, it would take decades. A big spoon just makes appropriate dents into food, and if I'm ever stuck in prison, I could construct a tunnel in much less time.
Posted by G at 06:18 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
August 21, 2005
The new neighbors
Welcome to nature in NYC.
One of the science teachers in my school made the mistake of asking students to bring in insects for a project. Every student brought in cockroaches.
We're having an experience with one type of rat. My definition of rat is quite flexible. NYC has rats of the ground (rats), rats of the sky (pigeons), and rats of the trees (squirrels).
Here are mine.
Awwwww, aren't they sweet? Ummmm, no.
These little disease carriers are basically camping out on our stairwell. Bear goes insane every time they're outside, which makes for a relaxing afternoon. They have mites and fleas, and they can carry the plague.
I plan on killing them. It should be fun.
Posted by G at 08:01 PM | Comments (17) | TrackBack
August 17, 2005
Post training
I'm in the middle of training at a high school downtown. Every day I get out around 4. Today I got some sun in a park on Chambers Street, then walked up the west side of Manhattan, also known as cute shirtless men highway.
I met with my friend Bill for drinks at a spectacularly cool casual bar, then Charles joined us. Great conversation, tasty cider, and comfy seating.
Shannon and I are heading home, as we get on the same subway. Our friends Karla and Helen call us, so we decide to have one more drink.
We get on the subway, and we're maintaining a steady conversation. However, a man seated opposite us has magnetically pulled my focus towards him. He has long, stringy hair, stringy muscles, and a face that is strangely leathery.
Using modern technology, I use my Treo 600 PDA/cellphone to quickly type a comment to Charles. I show him the text, impressed with my own subtlety.
Charles yells to the entire subway car, "IGGY POP IS OPPOSITE US!?!?" Apparently he is one of those talented children who reads best aloud.
The man who is NOT Iggy merely looks up then looks down. I want to melt into the plastic seat, but remain solid.
I love living in NYC.
Posted by G at 10:55 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack
August 16, 2005
Commute
For the last three years, I've laughed snootily at all the poor saps traveling to work.
Snooty, snooty laughs.
My old school was nightmarish on so many levels, but I could walk there in ten minutes, eight if I was really fast. A short commute became my standard of teaching.
I moved in with Derrick to avoid commuting. I moved to a new school with a 20 minute walk to avoid commuting.
I'm commuting this week, and I hate it more than clowns. I'm fine with the subways normally, but I rarely travel it during rush hour. I have to leave at least 45 minutes early to get downtown on time.
I honestly can't conceive how people can do this every day. The heat, the frustration of missing trains, the crowds- it would all suck the life out of me if I did it every day.
Some people say my job is tough. I say commuting is tougher.
Posted by G at 05:40 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
August 14, 2005
Hot!
I've had such a great time for the last few days.
Derrick and I went to Ben Folds/Rufus Wainwright. My knees can't really handle a full concert standing up, as all that missing cartilage starts to make the left knee grind. Rufus was amazing.
I went with Simon to the WaveHill House up in the Bronx. I have found my new quick retreat spot in the city. The gardens are amazing, empty of people, and lawn chairs beckon you to have a seat next to fountains and hidden grottoes created from the branches of a tree. Unfortunately, Simon purchased an unfortunate hat choice, liked the poking effect, and hasn't been seen since.
As far as museums go, I've gone to MOMA, the Met, and a performance of Putnam County Spelling Bee. Of course this was a great play for me to see, as I was once a spelling bee champion. Deep down, I'm still this 7th grade kid.
Posted by G at 01:19 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
August 10, 2005
Shaving
A few entries ago, there was some disagreement regarding the proper process for shaving.
Being a guy who shaves his head every other day for over ten years, I feel that I'm a bit of an expert. People have questioned me, but I defeated them in the Shaving Thunderdome.
Verify that you need to shave. I only shave every other day. I'm lazy and too much shaving makes your skin gross. if someone questions your 5 o'day shadow, just begin weeping or throw up. Here's my beard.
Showering must come first. Your skin should be clean and the hot water opens the pores. Some people shave in the shower, but I think that wastes a lot of water. I also think the shaving time at the mirror above the sink is a good time to reflect on the white nose hairs that are freaking me out.
I often use a basic shaving cream, but I just bought some expensive stuff. It's really great, as it doesn't lather wildly but keeps the beard wet. It probably has the same ingredients as my cheap shave, but it's like plastering dollar bills on your face.
I also bought a boar hair shaving brush. It feels amazing across my skin, and it lifts the hairs away from the skin. In case I am attacked by Bigfoot in my bathroom, I can also make snarling noises like a boar and maybe scare him away.
I use a Schick Triple Blade Xtreme 3. I like it over the Mach 3 because it flexes to shape the curve of my head and face. Beyond 3 blades just seems greedy, and the potential to shave to the skull seems likely.
I actually lather and shave my head first. I do it entirely by touch, shaving against the grain with my right hand, tracing the path with my left hand. This only takes about 2 minutes, unless I cut one of the weird spots on my head. If that happens, blood fountains out of my skull like a solar flare, scrambling cell phone reception and creating auroras in the upper atmosphere of the bathroom.
This is also a good time to fixate on my broken nose.
I shave my face separately so the lather doesn't dry out. This is the trickiest part of shaving for me, as I am constantly going too far into the beard, giving me that lopsided beard look that so many men strive to achieve. I shave against the grain first, then with the grain again.
Finally, I rinse with cold water, followed by an alcohol-free mint aftershave that makes my skin all tingly like my first date with Derrick.
That's about it. If I'm going into the sun, I always wear sunblock. If I'm going somewhere that I think might involve people rubbing my head for luck, I'll apply a little aloe. Too many rubs makes the head red.
Posted by G at 07:23 PM | Comments (21) | TrackBack
August 09, 2005
Fantasy Island Sidekick
I need some advice and assistance. I'm ready to get my first tattoo. Here are the two really basic options I've drawn using every artistic cell in my body.
This is my dad's cattle brand, the Triangle Lazy B. I still have a slight mark on my back from when I backed into the branding iron as a kid. There was a particularly rambunctious bull in the squeeze chute who knocked me backwards.
This is my grandfather's cattle brand. The EL brand is named after his brother, and is also my family namesake, specifically my middle name.
So, I need input. Is this a bad idea for a tattoo? Other ideas have been the Peace Corps logo, a math symbol that has no connection to fraternities, or something else.
If one of these is good, does anyone have any good ideas of making it artistically significant? My old roommate Tweaky Brian sketched this once.
Finally, where should this tattoo go? I figure on my shoulder or back.
Help will be rewarded.
Posted by G at 07:54 AM | Comments (21) | TrackBack
August 06, 2005
Culture Geek
I did a lot of cultural stuff this week.
I went to the Asia Society and learned about Indonesia. I went to the Jewish Museum and learned that Leonard Nimoy was Jewish. I learned lots of other things, but that really stuck with me. We had those little headsets on our heads, and suddenly Spock was talking to me. I almost stumbled into a display of menorahs. Was I part of a Star Trek episode where they travel back in time? No, he's just a huge patron of the museum.
This new nugget of knowledge was a treasure to me, as I went over to his modern digs on Friday.
I embraced me inner geek, as it was Geek Night at his house. He opened the door, with his huge apparatus on display for our viewing pleasure. It had to have been 55 inches diagonal, but with surprisingly little girth. I can only dream of having something this big. I'm looking at maybe buying a 20 incher for Christmas.
The night was filled with animated discussions of Joss Whedon and his upcoming flick Serenity. We then watched three episodes of his old show Firefly that Michael had recorded.
This was a great night for me. My boyfriend is interested in things Trek, but isn't obsessive like me. It was fun to discuss all the different sci-fi shows with no need to explain WHY they were worth discussing.
I finally got home around midnight, slipped into bed next to my slumbering partner, and dreamed of space battles.
Posted by G at 10:02 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
August 05, 2005
Can't stop the music
While on the road trip, I put my iPod on shuffle with all 7677 songs. I'm currently on song 579 by Mondo Grosso. Ray Coniff was the previous artist. I only have another 22 days of music to go. I should also mention that a lot of songs are crap, but I'm using the star rating system to eliminate them from my playlists. In my own twisted summer vacation way, this makes me feel extremely productive.
Derrick and I went to the Rufus Wainwright/Ben Folds concert in Brooklyn last night. Rufus was amazing as always, Ben was a bit hoarse.
I'm just getting too old for these concerts. I didn't make it through all of Ben's show because my knee started to kill me. Thank the gods that there was no mosh pit, or I wouldn't be able to move today.
Posted by G at 10:37 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
August 03, 2005
Differences discovered
I was flossing a few weeks back (not the LAST time, thank you). Derrick looked over at me in amazement. "You floss AFTER you brush?"
Apparently he was raised to floss first, then brush his teeth. I remember learning to brush, then floss.
These are the exciting things of living together.
Posted by G at 08:28 AM | Comments (16) | TrackBack
August 02, 2005
Boyfriend's favorite new blog
My boyfriend is a thinker. This is a good and bad thing.
I read the entries and comments for hours the other night. I alternated between laughing and doing some serious evaluation of how I educate.
Just like the horror of finding the roach enclave in your clean kitchen, I hate to look inside myself and find sexism and racism.
Yup, they're definitely there, scurrying around, hard to kill, and extremely revolting.
Her blog is making me seriously examine and evaluate how I teach and how I view my students, which I think I need to do on a regular basis.
Plus, she has links to this: