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November 06, 2005
Another Week in Paradise!!!
I had a cold all of last week! It was a really bad week at school! Genuinely bad! Since I don't want any comments from underminers, I'm going to describe last week in cheery vignettes! They aren't cheery, but I'll conclude them with exclamation points, just like a really annoying trainer at my school does with all of her emails! Her last email to me had 18 exclamation points for 4 sentences! I hate her!!
Okay! My school is a wreck! My poor principal is really overwhelmed and spends most of his time behind closed doors in meetings with his superiors!!! He doesn't know how to approve any purchases for the school, and he doesn't know how to check his own email! Woohoo! I had to train myself on the obscure purchasing system for schools, the funding is there, but he doesn't approve anything! All he has to do is sign into the system and click one dialog box, and my teachers can get some supplies! He wont'/can't!!! Hurrah!!!!! My teachers lack overhead projectors, basic paper, and basic books! So many things are ready and waiting merely for his approval, but apparently he feels so threatened by his lack of knowledge that he won't ask for help in purchasing! Last week he also sent me down to the other school in our building to make decisions on a testing program, but it wasn't for math! It was for English! He should have asked his assistant principals to do this, but there are fundamental communication problems! He's already got me in trouble with one of my assistant principals because he left her out of the loop on some important decisions! She will be the administrator who gives me my filed review! Yes!!!!!!
The assistant principals are really amazing, but so overtaxed! Whee! They, like me, are spending all their time correcting all of the mistakes that don't happen in a normal middle school! The city mandates Princeton Review exams to assess skills in math and English! Our test sets were so badly mismatched to our students, as our attendance and admittance records are two months behind! I had to hand sort/hand bubble two hundred fifty tests for each subject, as the testing coordinator/dean had a breakdown! She actually had to break up fifteen fights before lunch in my school, so she fled screaming and crying from the building! Yay!
In one day, I had to help three teachers having breakdowns! One had her bag stolen by a class from hell that she was covering! They shredded everything of hers, including personal pictures! So many of our kids are extremely low-level, and this last diagnostic test had most of them freaking out! Guess what?!? We're giving them more tests on Monday! Whoopee! They'll absolutely freak out!!! The fire alarm bells were illegally pulled by students wandering the hallways over 70 times last week! Each time, someone has to announce on the PA system, "Please disregard the bells." It is so exciting! I can't wait to see what will happen if there ever is an ACTUAL fire in our building! Won't those kids be surprised! Nothing like slowly being overcome by smoke and throwing yourselves out of buildings, because clanging a fucking bell is so fun!!!!
My principal fired my literacy counterpart a week ago! He found a problem with her certification, so he eliminated her! However, she was the only person who had received critical training and information, so now I've had to assume many of her duties!! Wowsers!
I don't ever actually get to do my assigned job! My teachers appreciate what I'm doing, but it isn't what I need to be doing! I'm working every day until late! I never have time to eat! I'm tired! Because of the cold, I can't drown my frustrations in a tasty beer! All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!
I really hate exclamation points! I'm serious!!!!
Posted by G at November 6, 2005 02:32 PM
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::sounds and images of Lee now heading over to Costco Drugs, Bondage, and Torture Devices Emporium to buy G vats of valium, extra-stength asprin, and Prilosec for him and his fellow teachers; and whips, chains, mace, leather restraints, handcuffs, and harnesses for the students.::
Posted by: Lee at November 6, 2005 10:08 PM
I've heard horror stories from Toronto, believe me. :-\
Posted by: Randy McDonald at November 6, 2005 10:31 PM
Vey is mir, as my people would say. But at least the new contract will make us work longer hours for the money! By the way, in our school, the post-alarm announcements have generally been, "There was a science experiment . . . " or "There are contractors working . . . "
Posted by: cohort 6 fellow at November 6, 2005 11:57 PM
at least you don't drive a saab.
Posted by: ted at November 7, 2005 02:20 AM
Wow...those exclamation points actually made reading that a painful experience. As if each point was plunging into my temple. But living it was worse than reading it, I imagine. Ugh.
Posted by: Alan at November 7, 2005 10:13 AM
breaking up all those fights .. ahh reminds me of my school teaching days. i simply didn't have the will to keep up with it as you do. i totally give you kudos for sticking in there, G. and what a perfectly manic description of what's going on!
Posted by: myke at November 7, 2005 11:48 AM
For some perverse reason, your blog makes my day seem so much better. By the way, how do YOU feel about tax cuts for the wealthy. Just wondering!!!
Posted by: Ron (Out There) at November 7, 2005 10:11 PM
A school like that is hopeless. There is a lot that you do not have control over to make better. I have been where you are. All I have to say is to get out! Get out! Find a new school for next year, if not next semester!
Thank you for the posting. It made my teaching week sound very normal. The biggest drama was the I came out to a group of kids during after school. And I was so nervous that all hell would break loose the next day- nothing happened.
Mohammed.
Posted by: Mohammed at November 8, 2005 09:46 PM
OMG, you're killing me with the !!!!s all over the place. I do not understand what makes (alleged) grown ups think they can do! This! All! The! Time!
Posted by: Mush at November 10, 2005 04:02 PM
I've had issues of my own...
Let me just say: @$%&^* !!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you!
Cheers,
Posted by: Mr. HK at December 4, 2005 04:42 PM