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November 30, 2005
Hunting skills
I caught the movement out of the corner of my eye. I can always spot them, like some eerie "Where's Waldo" idiot savant. Derrick has commented on my uncanny skill, but I know that it's simply an inherited skill. When I was a kid, my dad was able to see a deer/turkey/elk from a mile away, in a snowstorm, at night, in a car going 90 mph.
It happened every trip. He would force all of us into the car and we would go driving, purportedly to appreciate nature. None of us really appreciated nature. All three of his kids would be ensconced in the back, reading books. Bonnie would always get nauseous, as she is incapable of any travel without throwing up in my lap. Mom and Dad would talk in the front, and suddenly he would slam on the brakes. "Look at that deer/turkey/porcupine/elk/rabid chicken!" We'd all scan around, struggling to spot in the forest that one creature that he found so easily. We'd appreciate it or shoot it, then go back to reading.
Originally, we would try to compete with him on spotting animals, but it was impossible. Somehow, his ability to spot animals was not passed on to the next generation. My mentally inert cousin Brent has the skill, as evidenced by his wall of death in his living room. I always thought that it was a shame that I didn't inherit it too.
I do have the skill, just for a different purpose. When I was a kid, I was always finding guys taking off their shirts. I could find a hot guy taking his shirt off from a mile away, in a snowstorm, at night, in a car going 90 mph. Wild animals interest my dad, sexy manly chests interest me. I think my skill is much more useful.
Posted by G at November 30, 2005 06:54 PM
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Comments
I really don't go to enough bars with you.
And I can't believe nobody commented on this post.
Posted by: MzOuiser at November 30, 2005 04:23 PM
More useful? Damn Right.
Posted by: Jim (the Canuck one) at November 30, 2005 08:29 PM
That is indeed a useful skill. You should run seminars, sell books, and tapes, and CD's. :)
Posted by: Alan at December 1, 2005 10:20 AM
Totally agree- WAY more useful. I seem to have a decent blend of both. Neither is overly great but both are better than average. Only one of them makes me drool, though. :)
Posted by: Chris at December 1, 2005 11:01 AM
too bad the skill doesn't extend to bovine in the roadway.......
Posted by: brian at December 1, 2005 12:15 PM
I'm hoping to learn the secrets to accessing these amazing Jedi talents from you someday, Master.
- Padawan Palochi
Posted by: palochi at December 1, 2005 02:58 PM
If a hot guy is taking his shirt off in a snowstorm at night, he's definitely fair game. You can bag him while he's still snowblind and numb from frostbite, and mount him. On your wall.
Posted by: Scudder at December 3, 2005 10:57 AM
Posted by: Mr. HK at December 3, 2005 04:46 PM
Amen, sistah! And I know you're putting your God-given gifts to good use!
Hey, you should meet my friend Lucky. He has this stunning ability to spot a sizeable basket from 200 metres, through a crowd of thousands.
Posted by: jeff at December 4, 2005 08:30 AM