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December 28, 2005
Brokeback Mountain
I saw Brokeback Mountain with Derrick yesterday. Since the movie is going to be released to the general world over the next few weeks, I am certain that many heterosexual men will become homosexuals because of this spectacular film. However, I should give all straight men who will be 'turning' some caveats:
1) Becoming gay will not allow you to have regular weekend vacations in the spectacular mountains of Wyoming (Alberta), surrounded by odorless sheep. You will get to have regular sex with some version of Gyllenhaal, though. You will even be able to stipulate with/without mustache.
2) Becoming gay does not necessarily allow you to look really hot in Wranglers and boots, but you will be lusted after by both men AND women. Be careful when bathing nekkid in a stream. Shrinkage occurs.
3) Becoming gay will require you to have ugly parents but beautiful children.
4) Even though it appears that fun anal sex can be facilitated with just a wee bit o' spit and a heave-ho, becoming gay requires a little more time and finesse. If you are one of those heteros who would also like to be the bottom to Ledger's non-lubing top, I also don't recommend trying to ride a horse the next day.
Posted by G at December 28, 2005 02:44 PM
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Comments
Such thoughtful and timely advice! :-)
Posted by: Jess at December 28, 2005 03:42 PM
"...if you are one of those heteros who would also like to be the bottom to Ledger's non-lubing top, I also don't recommend trying to ride a horse the next day."
LOL!
Posted by: Mush at December 28, 2005 05:19 PM
As Bernard Black (lead character in the Brit SitCom "Black Books") once said:
"I thought I was gay once. But I couldn't be because of the prohibitive standards of hygiene. And all that dancing."
Posted by: Jim (the Canuck one) at December 28, 2005 05:39 PM
It's gonna be interesting to see if it plays in my town and if not ... how far I'll have to drive to see it.
Posted by: myke at December 28, 2005 07:17 PM
Might be a market for a Documentary film called Condom 101...
Condom's are such an artform unto themselves, and not a skill that comes naturally like Heath Ledger's spit in the fun and fancy free 1960's...
I loved that film. I saw it weeks ago and it's still haunting me...
Meanwhile, Happy New Year to you and Derrick...
Be well,
Posted by: Mr. HK at December 29, 2005 09:17 AM
Yep....good advise to all the heteros...!!!!!
Too bad we won't see it down here in the lower country until the dvd come out.
hugs
tommy
Posted by: tommy at December 29, 2005 09:50 AM
Small size is the only countervailing factor I can imagine in this case. But I don't want to imagine.
Posted by: Randy McDonald at December 29, 2005 11:58 PM
i haven't seen this movie yet... does he really spit on it? or are we to assume he does?
Posted by: Spencer at December 30, 2005 09:26 PM