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December 17, 2005
The right of privacy
I like my privacy, which could be an issue when you have roommates. I've never had a problem, however, even though I've had roommates for over 15 years. The last time that I had a problem was back when I lived with family, as family doesn't pay attention to boundaries like closed doors. My sister walked into the bathroom while I was 'ecstatically in the moment.' Very traumatic. Of course, I also accidentally walked in on my sister boinking her future husband, so this kind of thing is just an unpleasant family situation, akin to Thanksgiving or Christmas.
Boyfriends don't pay attention to closed doors, either. As Derrick is my first boyfriend I lived with, I had no idea my constitutional rights could be encroached upon like a morning Patriot Act. A few mornings ago, I was just sitting there in the bathroom, doing what I like to do. Not that, just reading the latest Apple magazine. I had already turned on the hot water in the shower and sink, as it takes about six hours for the hot water to travel the byzantine path from the basement boiler to our apartment. I also brush my teeth during this time. This morning had a particularly engrossing article about hidden tricks in OS X, so the toothbrush was already rinsed and I continued reading.
The door suddenly bursts open, and I see my boyfriend. What he sees is much more frightening- a man on the pot foaming at the mouth, holding a computer magazine. I made a gurgling noise, he made apoplectic apologetic noises, the door shut.
You get casual when you live with/love someone. I'm essentially a fount of flatulence, so I've had to let go of lots of things. I think I'm going to hold on to that last vestige of privacy.
Posted by G at December 17, 2005 07:51 PM
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Comments
Posted by: Mr. HK at December 17, 2005 08:38 PM
Eh, as the years pass, none of that stuff matters. Flatulence is still worth an apology--that's just polite--but walking into the bathroom? By a certain, point you've seen it all, and there's no point wasting time waiting for the bathroom just because it's being used for some particular function by your other half. :)
Posted by: Jess at December 18, 2005 10:16 AM
Well, I guess I don't have to worry about that too much, since the only time I even close the bathroom door is when I am dropping off the kids. :-)
Posted by: Chris at December 18, 2005 12:25 PM
Privacy is a precious commodity. We've been together 18 years and still use the closed door rule: if the door is shut completely, it is NOT to be opened. If it's ajar, even a little, come on down!
Of course, this doesn't mean you can't knock and discuss things (ie "I just accidently saw 10 seconds of Survivor. Can I come in to splash Drano in my eyes?")
Just cuz you're "married" doesn't mean you've abdicated your right to a little privacy now and then.
Posted by: Jim (the Canuck one) at December 19, 2005 05:34 AM
I swear this was a Sex and the City Episode!
Posted by: MzOuiser at December 19, 2005 01:08 PM
I don't blame you at all - I think that last vestige of privacy is worth hanging on to!
Posted by: Thom at December 19, 2005 04:26 PM
I can pee in front of anybody anywhere (as long as it doesn't get me arrested or fired). But I do believe that even in the uber-closeness of long-term relationships, the John is a sacred spot. Aside from the bathroom and bodily function, everyone needs to have a sense of some privacy in life to maintain a sense of individuality and self. And I surely don't need your presence to push out a loaf.
Posted by: chris at December 19, 2005 04:39 PM
You move in with the BF and ALL privacy goes out the window.
Posted by: mark at December 19, 2005 05:07 PM
Sorry to be a civil liberties nerd, but you only have a constitutional right to privacy from the government -- boyfriends can barge in at will and it's completely legal.
Posted by: Chris at December 21, 2005 12:20 AM
Some things should be considered sacred...even in gay marriage. "Alone time" is one of them. :)
Posted by: Alan at December 21, 2005 10:24 AM
You know, most bathroom doors come with this little thing called a "lock," if you really want your privacy. My boyfriend is, as he says, very "Asian" about bathroom functions. After five years, I've never even heard him fart. And he still locks the door.
Posted by: Scott at December 22, 2005 10:57 AM
We have held onto that last vestige of privacy for the 23 years that we have lived together. Having separate bathrooms is a strong marriage enhancer.
Posted by: farmboyz at January 9, 2006 10:04 PM
Great reading, keep up the great posts.
Peace, JiggaDigga
Posted by: JiggaDigga at April 7, 2006 01:04 AM