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December 14, 2005
Wishes and supervisors
If you're looking for happiness and cheer, it's best to skip this post. This is a bitching post.
Here's the funny:
I was offered a math job at a high school. It is closer to my home, the principal was actively recruiting me, and my life would be so much easier. I would be in charge of the math department, and there are only 200 students. I would get to teach advanced math.
Here's the catch:
I would have to leave my school. Now. Bridges would be burned, many passengers of the bus would be wondering where the hell the driver was, etc.
I consulted with a few friends, family, and teachers. Most said go, some said stay. I chose to stay. I don't like leaving a job in the middle of a crisis. It feels too much like giving up, plus most of my friends are more likely to buy a beer for noble martyrs. If I moved to the high school, people might still buy me a beer, but only during happy hour.
Since turning down the position, it has been really tough at school.
Friday: I confirmed with my administration that I wasn't doing the training on Monday. On Friday, I also sat down with two teachers to help them write lesson plans, delivered 680 books from the ground floor to 2nd, 3rd, and 4th floor classrooms (the ELA coach has a bad hip and we don't have an elevator), designed the map/contact info for the City College program I'm starting in the afternoons for my regional boss (plus distributed it to the 40 eligible students), tracked down and delivered the schedule for a teacher training program for my principal, met with the book salesman to order math libraries (I've been researching resource books for math teachers), finished the Chess in the Schools grant application, fixed the Risograph copy machine, scheduled classes for our first school trips, and even bought donuts for my teachers. I never stopped running, except for 15 minutes for lunch.
Oh, and I was also bitched out by my direct supervisor who said that I need to try harder. I also got in trouble with my regional boss because I made him look bad, as another regional person was present when I discovered that my principal had fucked up our calculator order two months ago and was too incompetent to understand his own mistake. My regional boss didn't remember the multiple conversations and memos about this major problem, he just told me that my job was to make sure he and my principal don't look bad. He then bitched out my boss on the phone, who then called me onto the carpet for making him look bad too. It was a bit silly, as I had already corrected the mistake. I just hadn't communicated it to them, as pointing out their own asses is a bit wasteful.
Monday:
First thing, I confirmed I wasn't doing the training in the afternoon. I have things basically ready, but I like to maximize the teachers' time. Since I knew I was free, I focused on all the other things. I did the blah, blah, blah. Just believe me that I'm working like a hooker with a mortgage bill due yesterday. That afternoon, teachers start arriving in my room, looking for training. Apparently the woman at the region who commandeered the training only wanted English teachers, so she sent the rest to me. Again, I had been clearly told I WASN'T DOING TRAINING. It went fine, but only because I had prepared some things last week.
Tuesday:
Blah, blah, blah. Lots more work, an actual fire evacuation of our building. The entire afternoon is lost because of the fire evacuation. My afternoon is spent with new program setting up the big start on Wednesday.
Wednesday: Get shouted at by direct supervisor in the main office. She is livid that I forgot to put notices in the teachers' mailboxes the prior night regarding the planned training during their lunches (they apparently forgot the 2 notices I had sent them last week, plus the mention in the training on Monday). She keeps shouting at me, "What were you thinking!?!?!" over and over. At first, I reminded her of the fire issue, then I just tell her I fucked up, I'm sorry, and that I would correct the problem. She honestly just kept repeating herself. This was all very public in the main office.
I wish I could tell her that I am stretched too thin because of picking up all of her slack. I wish I could tell her that she should appreciate me, because I could have left to another school. I wish I could tell her that I'm doing a better job than her at a fraction of the salary. I wish I could have told her that I'm staying later at school than her, because I'm trying to do the best job possible. I wish she could hear the teachers tell me how much they appreciate what I'm doing. I wish she understood that I know she is in over her head, and that she is just attacking me for not saving her. I wish I could tell all of the administration to take a flying leap.
I wish, I wish, I wish. If wishes were horses....
Posted by G at December 14, 2005 06:26 PM
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Comments
Ok, what does this say about me: I read that whole thing, and what sticks in my mind is -- you can fix a Riso?? You could get a job in any school!! (I think it says that I also work at an NYC public school.)
Sorry to hear you have such lousy administrators. As a lawyer, I more often had to deal with irrational screaming supervisors. So far at school I've been lucky. Hope your situation improves soon, one way or another.
So what do you expect for Friday? My prediction: No strike, no snow, and no kids. I think at least 50% of our student body is already planning for a day off, so why let a contract and train service interfere?
Posted by: Cohort 6 Fellow at December 14, 2005 09:23 PM
If wishes were horses, you'd have an apartment full of horse shit.
What the eff is WRONG with these people?
Posted by: Helen at December 15, 2005 10:12 AM
If that job is still availbale - TAKE IT.
T
A
K
E
I
T
take it!!!!! BURN BRIDGES? if the gates of hell are on the other side of the bridge, then maybe that's a bridge that SHOULD BE BURNED!
Posted by: Nick O'Teen at December 15, 2005 11:15 AM
Holy Shit, Glen. Can you reconsider the other offer???
Posted by: _ph at December 15, 2005 11:34 AM
I suppose the job offerer needed to fill in that position ASAP, otherwise I'm sure you considered asking them to wait until you were done at that school. But it sounds like your school is in continual disaster mode, so anytime you left would be leaving in a time of crisis.
Anyway, at least a student hasn't dropped a fire extinguiser on your head:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/14/AR2005121402663.html
Posted by: jimbo at December 15, 2005 01:07 PM
I can't imagine anyone would have thought any less of you for leaving and teaching in a NYC public high school. You've got to be a saint to touch any of those uptown schools with a ten foot pole.
Also, is there any reason you can't just refuse to apologize for things you know you didn't do wrong? I mean, one of the advantages of not being in the private sector is that your superiors are pretty powerless, in general.
Why not just say, "I sent them two notices last week," and repeat that every time she repeats herself. "You're repeating yourself," and "I don't respond to shouting, sorry," are useful as well.
You don't have to be an asshole, even if that would be fun, but you can be cool and unsympathetic during that kind of temper tantrum.
She sounds like a terrible human being...
Posted by: Chris B at December 15, 2005 05:41 PM
I think you should change your mind about that high school job. If you're presented with an opportunity, take it!
Posted by: J. at December 16, 2005 09:57 AM
Maddening. Absolutely. As other people commented, is there any way you can still take the other job?
Posted by: Thom at December 16, 2005 10:35 AM
Hm. I wonder if, somewhere inside you, you are choosing the school with the greatest need, rather than the job that might fulfill your needs. I wouldn't put that past you.
And I have lost track of how many rants I've read on blogs this week. It's like Mars returned from retrograde or something. :)
Posted by: MzOuiser at December 16, 2005 02:09 PM
i think you are a masochist...that is why you stay. and that is why we love you. damn you and your altruistic/masochistic nature!
Posted by: brian at December 17, 2005 02:48 AM
"Burning Bridges?" - if you step back for a moment, I believe you'll see they're ALREADY burning on the other end. Why are you concerned what these people will think of you if you leave - 24hrs later they'll be saying "G who??" They were idiots when you arrived and will continue to be such when you depart.
I'm sorry to say this (and won't be hurt if you delete this comment) but you've got a MAJOR martyr complex working here. You can't personally save this school because it apparently doesn't want to be saved. And failing to save it is not going to make a big red "X" on your permanent karmic record either.
Ya gotta know when to swim for the surface, darlin'. Get kicking. Now.
I'm sorry if this sounded mean-spirited, I've been where you are and thought you needed some tough-love.
Peace.
Posted by: Jim (the Canuck one) at December 17, 2005 06:32 AM
Oh my! I can't even put my own incredible experiences into words lately... But, I'm on the brink...
But DO be aware that a current principal has to "release you" to take another job...
So your instinct about not burning bridges is a good one. They don't have to "release you", apparently...
I know a case recently where a principal did not release a teacher for another City job and she had to leave the City system altogether in order to break free...
Posted by: Mr. HK at December 17, 2005 08:49 PM
You shouldn't underestimate or undervalue yourself. That's a lesson I'm still learning.
Posted by: Randy McDonald at December 17, 2005 10:52 PM
Think before you take the other job. Is it a start up school? How long has it been around? Sometimes offers can be made a lot better than the actually are. My advice is to never deal with a new school, no matter how amazing is the educational philosophy behind it.
Hang in there. Three more days.
M
Posted by: Mohammed at December 19, 2005 11:30 PM
"I wish I could tell her that I am stretched too thin because of picking up all of her slack. I wish I could tell her that she should appreciate me, because I could have left to another school. I wish I could tell her that I'm doing a better job than her at a fraction of the salary. I wish I could have told her that I'm staying later at school than her, because I'm trying to do the best job possible. I wish she could hear the teachers tell me how much they appreciate what I'm doing."
it sounds to me as if you don't have to tell her any of that.
it sounds to me as if she KNOWS it and that is why she over reacts about some stupid memo. she needs something because she knows that it won't take long before everyone else knows what she does.
you are a better teacher.
Posted by: landry at December 20, 2005 12:26 PM
O.M.G. What a lousy week. As someone who has BTDT in the three times the workload/a quarter of the appreciation field, I can sympathize. I'd call the other school back and see if they've filled the position. It's one thing to do what you love in a not-so-great atmosphere. It's heaven to do what you love with a supportive administration.
Posted by: Kaya at January 8, 2006 03:56 PM