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January 27, 2006

Moments in eating

I make a lot of bad assumptions. I assumed that parachute pants would be fashionable forever. I assumed that everyone loves French fries dipped into a chocolate shake. I assumed that teaching kids would be easy.

I also assumed that I had an allergy to shrimp. Contrary to my boyfriend's assertions, I am not a major hypochondriac. One day, I will die, and then who was right? However, it won't be from shrimp. I did have facts to back this one up, I swear. I've had two major attacks about ten years ago while eating shrimp. When I worked at the steakhouse in college, my one time de-veining shrimp left my fingers a swollen wreck. My dad is seriously allergic to shrimp, so it made sense that this passed on to me.

I actually used this as one of my reasons to go to Uzbekistan, rather than some tropical paradise. I could have been on some beach, rather than in a broiling/freezing desert. I haven't touched shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, scallops, or octopi in ten years. It was stressful, especially over the last few years, as NYC has numerous shrimp/crustacean dishes.

My aunt encouraged me to go to an allergist. This is the same woman who also convinced me to engage in the time-saving process of ordering dogfood online. Also, the same woman who encourages me to try something new every day.

I tried something new- a deliberate search to find what could kill me. First, they did blood tests. Nothing. Then they did the stabbing test, where they put allergens on little needles and poke your back. I am basically allergic to nothing, especially not shrimp. Or at least they were 90% sure. For the final 10% certainty, they wanted me to eat shrimp in the doctor's office. The idea of eating lukewarm shrimp with an audience reminds me of business luncheons, so I never went back.

My aunt gave me scallops. So damned yummy, and they didn't kill me. She gave me a crab dish. So damned yummy, I could have ignored the rest of the dish. I tried everything, nothing killed me, and everything tasted good.

I finally tried shrimp. It didn't kill me, but I really wasn't wild about the taste, plus everyone at the table was quietly pretending not to watch me for any evidence of a reaction. After all of these years, I was hoping for more fireworks. Food just doesn't seem as fraught with danger now, which is probably why I've been eating so many bacon cheeseburgers at Jimbo's Famous Burgers in Harlem.

Posted by G at January 27, 2006 06:57 PM

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Comments

Posted by: sam at January 28, 2006 06:56 PM

Posted by: Jess at January 29, 2006 11:22 AM

Posted by: Helen at January 30, 2006 11:11 AM