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January 11, 2006
Poster child for idiocy
I first heard it as a derogatory phrase when I moved to NYC. Someone commented about the idiot mouth breathers who voted for Bush, or some other event connected to stupid actions. I looked it up:
mouth-breather n. a stupid person; a moron, dolt, imbecile.
Wait a minute! I was vaguely horrified, as I am a serious mouth breather. It's not my fault, as my nose is so broken after fights with drunkards, softball games, and peripheral vision door impacts that it resembles a ski slope. The cartilage inside winds a serpentine route into my skull, essentially depriving me of a left nostril.
As long as I'm not congested, I can basically breathe through my nose, but add a wee bit of exertion and I'm suddenly looking like the Honorable Mention winner at the local Special Olympics (not that I wouldn't be proud to be in the Special Olympics).
I've become really self-conscious. I'm already from Texas, so I don't want anyone thinking I'm dumb enough to vote for Bush. My employment and driving choices lately show some stupid parts of my brain, but I'd rather not look stupid.
I was thinking about my appearance as I was walking to school the other morning. I attempted to just breathe through my nose for the 20 minute walk. By the time I was ten blocks into the walk, my face was scrunched up just trying to force air through my damaged septum. I was making this crazy wheezing sound, my pulse was pounding, and I was slightly dizzy. Finally just popped open my mouth for a lungful of proper air. Back to stupid, stupid.
I guess dumb-looking is going to be my fashion statement for 2006.
Posted by G at January 11, 2006 08:01 PM
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Comments
I'm afraid I've used the term "mouthbreather" as a synonym for stupid for quite a while. Now I guess I have to check for a medical condition before making assumptions. :) (Though really it isn't just the open mouth, but the dull, vacant look in the eyes that gives a mouthbreather that authentic look of dumbness.)
Posted by: Alan at January 12, 2006 10:59 AM
Well, darling, you may have been too hasty.
I believe a constant drool was also de rigeur for the mouth-breathers of which they spoke. Nothing too outrageous, mind you - a steady stream with an occasional bubble was perfect. Unless I miss my guess, you've only been known to drool in public on the rarest of occasions.
Posted by: Jim at January 12, 2006 05:30 PM
drunken brawls with drunkards? sounds like a story we should hear, here.
Posted by: brian at January 12, 2006 06:24 PM
Amen! I'm always offended at the use of "mouth-breather" in that sense, because I tend to breathe through my mouth, too, after years of sinus issues and nasal congestion. I have to make a concentrated effort to remember to breathe through my nose, and it feels very strange...
Posted by: Thom at January 12, 2006 06:29 PM
I'm coming forward to admit to a bit of mouth-breathing myself due to allergic reactions causing my sinuses to get all gunked up at times.
Never like the term being used that way either.
Posted by: Lee at January 13, 2006 01:23 AM
I know what you mean. There's a scene in "Das Experiment" (rent it if u've never seen it!) where the lead guy (that hot guy from Run Lola Run) get's his mouth duct-taped shut and then he gets dragged through the building and you can totally feel him almost sufficating trying to hyperventilate through his nose. it's so claustrophobic and very grueling to watch.
Posted by: Telefrank at January 13, 2006 02:44 PM
Dumb-looking is so hot. All of my boyfriends have totally been dumb-looking.
;-)
Posted by: Mush at January 14, 2006 02:16 AM
I feel your pain. The deviated septum is a bitch. I've had the surgery to fix it and I am a lot better, but not 100%. Anyway, it's something to consider.
Posted by: Betsy at January 15, 2006 10:35 PM