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February 23, 2006
Texas in the Rear View Mirror
Having a goal-oriented trip to Texas always delivers strange results. I had plenty of fun moments, it was fun to see many of my friends, but it becomes more and more apparent to me that I really don't belong there. Tye unwittingly called me at a low point and it really crystallized how frustrated I am with some parts of this painfully red state. Things that normally didn't bother me now drive me to the point of distraction. Living in a multi-culti city makes you aware that the Texan way isn't the only way, even as they cheerfully legislate away their environment, their civil rights, and any containment to urban sprawl.
Things that Texans would be better for discovering:
SUV's aren't fuel efficient or environmentally friendly. Houston doesn't have sparkling air, and they are one of the big culprits. The vaunted elevated vantage point disappears once everyone else is driving an SUV.
Walking down the interstate with a cross will just get you struck down by an SUV driven by a Christian with a cell phone. Now that's an accident I would like to see. I think it is irony if your intent is to get someone closer to Jeebus, then you suddenly are a LOT closer to Jeebus.
Giant size doesn't mean good. Devouring giant plates of food for less than $8 is not good for you. Since your goal is to get to Jeebus quicker, this is a great way. Super-sizing is also super-cardiac arresting. However, you will NOT make a pretty corpse, and may require extra corpse carriers at the funeral.
Just because there are endless prairies ripe for expansion is not an excuse for suburban sprawl. Kudos to Austin and Fort Worth for attempting to address those needs, and curses on the new 10000 home developments outside of Dallas.
Just because you're having visions from angels does not mean god is speaking through you. It just means that your bigotry and fear are manifesting themselves in your subconscious, giving your rants an audience on Christian radio.
Don't even get me on the marriage bills or the alarming percentages that believe they will be raptured in the next ten years. My right to get married is not one of the signs of the apocalypse.
Now that I've lanced the Texas boil, I feel much better.
Posted by G at February 23, 2006 09:35 PM
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Comments
Yeah, every week or so, I have to spew forth my rants on the evils of Texas. It's a healthy thing to do. Out with the bad thoughts, in with the good. Glad you made it back to NY safe and sound!
Posted by: Jen at February 24, 2006 12:01 AM
Amen, Brother G.
I'm sorry I didn't go to dinner with you while you were in town. Work has been hell the past few months. We're swamped. Pardon me... I'm in the Bible belt... We are blessed with much work.
Posted by: James at February 24, 2006 12:46 AM
My impression of Texas, formed in the blue bleachers of less Jeebus-ridden states, is that it is not just rather flat but extremely flat, with long straight highways banding it so that if one could mount a giant-sized bicycle, one could easily peddle the east to west length of it in a matter of minutes.
The problem with hating a state like that is that it keeps on producing and delivering really hot men for the rest of the country .
Posted by: farmboyz at February 24, 2006 07:03 AM
I live in a small town and I'm refreshingly far away from those Rapture's-coming Christians socially. Meaning, I don't know anyone who actually believes in that stuff.
Then I read this Vanity Fair article after Xmas, and it freaked me out. So I called my really Catholic friend and said, 'Is this what you meant? Is this really, literally what most Christians THINK!?!' and disturbingly, she said, 'Yes. That's literally what they think.'
I haven't really been okay since. I've never really believed that most people are stupid, or ignorant, or cruel. I figured most of 'em were more or less like me.
To find out that they're really, well, almost entirely alien? Breaks my fucking heart.
I almost wish they'd get their insane, violent, loveless rapture. Just to get 'em the fuck out of here.
Posted by: goblinbox at February 24, 2006 10:44 AM
SO when they don't get raptured in ten years, will they see sense?
Posted by: sam at February 24, 2006 12:29 PM
Ok. Enough already. I've been reading my brother's blog for a long time. And, in that time, I've never felt the need to "post" anything.
Until now.
Not every Christian is a psycho. Not every Christian is a bigot, racist or hate monger. Not every Christian is narrow minded and working for a future rapture that eliminates all strife and worry.
Some of us are normal, funny, deeply flawed, and very human people. Some of us do what we can to reach out to people and try to share some of the joy we have in our lives. Some of us embrace diversity. Some of us read the news with anguish over what other "Christians" do in ignorance and hate.
Some of us believe that a loving God is there for all of us and that his son Jesus died for us all... not just Texans.
So before we blast all Christians, remember that blanket statements that include anyone... gay, straight, Christian, athiest, New Yorkers or Texans...usually do more harm than good.
Thus sayeth Sister Bonnie. Now go see a good movie.
Posted by: Sister Bonnie at February 24, 2006 02:56 PM
Yeah. Well, let that be a lesson to ye!
Get your ass back to NYC and stay here! Forever!
Cheers,
Posted by: Mr. HK at February 24, 2006 04:23 PM
Jesus is coming, look busy!
Posted by: Spencer at February 24, 2006 08:00 PM
Everything I know about Texas I learned from Hell House and Hands On A Hardbody.
Posted by: Foxy at February 25, 2006 07:35 AM
great comment bonnie (and long time no see)....while i no longer espouse a christian world view, i don't hate all christians. and not all texans are of the suv-driving-rapture-drill-practicing-bigot variety. there are plenty of people in texas that are equally upset over the ills of our society.
i have thought many times about moving away from texas but haven't so far because there are so many things i love about it. in spite of it's problems.
if nothing else take a lesson from dick cheney....focus your aim before firing a shotgun blast. :)
Posted by: brian at February 25, 2006 10:09 AM
I think I can understand where you're coming from re: dysfunctional homelands. Just saying.
Posted by: Randy McDonald at February 28, 2006 08:39 AM