Glennalicious

Awww, G, we know you're just being funny.
Canada is pretty nuts too.

Our cab drivers get murdered in botched hold-ups. We have serial killers who off dozens of prostitutes before they're caught. We have beloved advertising actors who turn out to be accused kiddie porn distributors.

Just last week, a fellow pulled a gun and held hostages at an Econolodge(oh, dear, lord!) because someone started using "his" video-poker machine when he left for a coffee.

I joke about it quite a bit, but I don't think Americans and Canadians are really that different.

Yes, there is the "ugly american" but there's also the "ugly canadian". The difference is our version tends to stay home.

When "non-ugly" Canadians travel, people think "Hmm, Canada must be a really nice place". When the "ugly" American arrives, people think "Jeebus, that country must be hell on wheels."

I grew up in Nova Scotia - a popular tourist destination - and met many Ah-mur-i-cans that made me want to paint another "Yankee Go Home" sign. Imagine my shock when I first visited the US - Boston - and met sweet, lovely people just living their lives. Until I stopped visiting the US, this happened again and again - the Gov't and the media may be frothing at the mouth but the people on the streets are generally no worse than anywhere else.

The other big difference is in our governments. The Canadian government doesn't really have "Keep to population so frightened we can get away with anything." on its agenda. They'd probably LIKE to, but they're just too inept. And we have the ability to publicly disagree with our leaders and not be accused of heresy.. oops, sorry.. treason.

When I was living in Switzerland, I went on a day-trip/date with this hot (but boring, oh...so boring) guy named Rafael (everyone should date a Rafael while they live in Europe). We took the train out from Zurich to Montreux and visited this amazing castle, the Chateau de Chillon, on Lake Geneva. It's a spectacularly beautiful place. Well...we happened to be there the same time as a busload of American fratboys. I'm not sure what their organization was. Yes, they were hot, but they were loud and obnoxious and vulgar and just generally disdainful of the historic and aesthetic value of the place they were seeing. I was so embarrassed.

And once in Sienna, I saw a man in pale-blue striped bermuda shorts, a fruit-salad colored plaid shirt, and a baseball cap with a rainbow trout on the front (!!!!) walk into a store and without even a polite buon giorno or Parla inglese? he just said, "Give me some double-A batteries." Sigh. And then this one time when I was in Japan...oh, wait, this is someone else's blog. I'll stop now.

Two words: Bryan Adams.

Dion dance mixes and Shatner album tracks make up the whole of our national defense. Some say that this constitutes a weapon of mass destruction. The UN is investigating.

Ahem.

Well, most things Canadian are good. And some things Canadian are excellent. Allow me to introduce myself....