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March 02, 2006
Terrific Texas! Woo!
I'm sick today, sore throat, no voice. As I'm eating my healthy yet boring oatmeal, I know the things I love Texas for:
Gravy. Liberal northerners cannot make gravy to save their lives. My stepmom actually gave me the basic recipe (butter, flour, and milk). I bought ten instant packets at the grocery store, but I might even attempt to make my own. Keep the fire extinguisher handy.
Giant statues of Sam Houston and other figures. In order for Texans to get their history at 70 mph, they place 80 foot tall statues to sternly remind Texans of their past AND to keep below the posted speed limit.
Weddings with nice people, beer, good cake, and pinatas. My friend's wife had a terrific dress, her bridesmaids were really funny, and there was only one git with bad jokes about being gay. I'm all about frosting on cakes at weddings, and they picked a unique fusion of TWO different frostings. They also wisely set up a pinata to allow the children to work through the sugar high, and nothing makes children cuter than the ritual sacrifice of an animal and then eating the sugary entrails.
Another fun thing about weddings in Texas:
Whenever you're from Texas universities, you have to learn the hand signs of the universities. Watch out for flying tortillas while you're at it.
Austin and Austinites. I have to say that if I were forced to live in Texas again, I would be okay, as long as the town was Austin. Austin is this lovely little gem in a sea of mediocrity. The only district to have rejected the anti-gay ballot, it also has ordinances against McMansions, works to increase public transportation, and also is the residence of Dagon Chris, Stacie from Texas Tech, and her cute friend Tim. Tim would be in these photos, but he didn't even bother to hug Stacie after lunch. FOR SHAME! Look how cute she is!
Dagon Chris is such a good guy, and he took me to the best of Austin. A deserted dance floor playing the "L Word" on all of its screens, plus a personal demonstration of mad-hot Texas dancing:
Being a fellow geek, he also showed me the tectonic patterns that created the hills of Austin:
As we were driving around, I shrieked upon discovering one of my best beer moments of the past. My old roommate Evan took me to this dive that is an Austin landmark. The owner lady is quite senile, telling me she needed to pee, and I thought I was going blind due to my first experience ever with lightning bugs. Plus the beer was really frosty good. The view of the valley is amazing:
Austin is the home of Whole Foods, and we went to the HQ of Whole Foods. It was huge, but I wasn't impressed until I approached this:
Once I waved goodbye to Austin, I drove AGAIN back to Dallas. Ernest took me to my fave mexican food restaurant, La Familia in Fort Worth. Fish tacos are so yummy, plus the new restaurant is really well done. Bonnie and Ernest also got me hooked on City of Heroes. I'm really thinking I should buy a PC, or pray for a Mac version. I didn't get to stay that much in Dallas, as I had to then drive to Lubbock. Five hours to drive there, three hours with my dad, stepmom, and new dog,
then driving back to Dallas. One day there to chill, then back to NYC.
Really, I wish I could have dinner in Texas once a week. I love the unhealthiest food in the unhealthiest portions. I also wish I could get sunsets like this:
Posted by G at March 2, 2006 04:04 PM
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Comments
Happy Independence Day. I'm going to Two Boots for Chicken Fried Steak tonight, myself.
Posted by: sam at March 2, 2006 05:17 PM
Gravy is so important. I make it all the time. I can make the hell out of some gravy... but I'm from the Northwest, not the South. So. But still!
Posted by: goblinbox at March 2, 2006 05:48 PM
Mmm, gravy: the only thing I miss from Kentucky. (Well, that and my mom.) Ever have Bob Evans sausage gravy?
Posted by: Tom at March 2, 2006 10:44 PM
Isn't gravy supposed to be brown?
Feel better!
Posted by: jase at March 2, 2006 10:59 PM
I LIVE! IN PICTURES!
Come back anytime. We can head back to Rainbow Cattle Company and line dance yer heart out.
Posted by: Dagon at March 3, 2006 02:33 AM
YES! Breakfast in the South (I'm a Georgia boy myself) is soooooooooo vastly different than the breakfast up here in the blue states.
Three things:
Gravy (mentioned)...
Biscuits (fuck, fuck, fuck bagels!)...
and... ohmygod...
SAUSAGE PATTIES!
Why the hell can I not find sausage patties anywhere? I'm so sick of sausage links.
My life is so hard. GN
Posted by: Gayest Neil at March 3, 2006 08:46 AM
Looks like you had a great time. So sorry we couldn't hook up that night. That week, was a week from hell for us. Hopefully next time you're here, or when we come to NYC we can see you.
Posted by: mark at March 3, 2006 04:31 PM
You look great in the photos! And, you know, the closest I've been to Texas is flying over it, but from everything I've ever heard and read Austin is a city that I'd love to visit.
Posted by: Thom at March 3, 2006 04:54 PM
Every time I see that statue of Houston, I can’t help but imagine it coming to life while shouting “Houston – Smash! Houston – Smash!” Not sure why.
Posted by: GayProf at March 5, 2006 01:12 PM
I've a couple of Texan friends, and they both rave about Austin. I'd like to get down there myself.
Posted by: Randy McDonald at March 6, 2006 12:40 AM
you are totally hot in a suit!
Posted by: jiminy at March 6, 2006 09:05 PM
BEARD!!!! WOOOF! I'M GONNA GET YOU!!
Posted by: jimbo at March 13, 2006 12:21 PM