Glennalicious

Sometimes things in life choose you, and that can be a good thing. It is also a sign of not having a big ego, that you are not trying to control every aspect of your life or "career".
Congratulations!
mr pinky

Well, at least if you don't make a plan, you don't really risk being disappointed when it doesn't acheive the goal you intended it to.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You have accomplished a great deal just by being you. I think life just happens to most people. If everything were planned ahead of time, it would be boring. I'm sure you're a great teacher, and that's one of the BEST things you could be.

i didn't plan to be a vegetarian, and here i am 12.5 years later (and yes i did actually count that on my fingers). i've found that the things that fell into place for me have always turned out to be the best. the things i've had to fight the hardest for haven't turned out so well. i think that has led to my 'go with the flow' philosophy, which i like, but i'm not sure it's taking me anywhere great.

A friend once said passed this quote on to me. 'Stalking' has come to have harsher connotations these days, but I think this quote is older than our current usage. Well, you'll get the idea:

"If the rewards are clear, but the call is vague, the devil is lurking.
If the call is clear, but the rewards are vague, the Spirit is stalking."

May the Spirit be stalking you and your decisions in the best of ways.

Cheers, Joe.

Life is terrifying, no?

And the best laid plans...

Take the Box!!! Take the Box!!!

No. But seriously.
I'm the same way.
I do have grand designs at times.
I fall into ideas and dreams that I go,
"I could do that."
But I have let life lead me so far,
while weighing things as I go,
and I've done pretty well so far.
When a decision like this happens.
I write a simple, pro and con list.
No branching off with "What if?" and "But it..."
Just, here's what I got.
"What does it look like on either end?"
And then after burning a hole into the paper from staring at it for hours.
I walk away, grab a coffee, sit back down at the table and then go,
"Now what does my gut tell me."
If they coincide. Then I know.
If they conflict. One may outweigh the other.
Then there it goes.

Believe me, I understand what you're going through right now, as I'm feeling similar things lately. (I think.)

Sounds like you've got a case of "choice anxiety," or, as I call it, "The anxiety of abundance." Here's what wikipedia has to say:

"Just as having too few options can be stressful, so too can having too many options. Because there are so many goods and services to choose from in an ever-increasing range of categories, the simplest choices become stressful. According to Easterbrook, the consumer can never be sure if he is choosing the right product or service, leading to stress and unhappiness."

from "http://www.philowiki.com/wiki/index.php/Choice_anxiety"

Granted, you're choosing something a little more important than a brand of toilet paper or the next movie you'll see, but the problem is the same. Every choice is also a self-deprivation; every good thing taken is a thousand good things closed off forever.

And just like everybody else, I have no solution ...

Morbid?

Also, maybe it's not choosing one of the options in front of you that you need to focus on so much as trying to visualize what you want down the road. That, in my experience, tends to change the choices. Not, "Oh, I'll take this job 'cause they offered it to me," versus "I want THIS kind of job in THIS area with THIS pay," etc.

In other words, the universe has a hard time giving you what you want if you don't codify exactly what it is that you want.

I think we may have this trait in common. When I left the church, I simply got up every day, got on my bike and went to the park to play racquetball with the Puerto Ricans. It was summer. Then things happened. That is why I call my blog Perge Modo which, although part of a larger quote, can be translated as "Just Do It". I've learned to push off being afraid of not planning.

Goal-oriented people tend to be pretty miserable. Try being "opportunity-oriented" instead. Train yourself to be on the lookout for forks in the path and develop a sense of judgment about which fork is best to take.

If you are interested in personal performance and "fulfilling your potential," remember that "everything that rises must converge." You will get the same gratification out of being a fantastic teacher that you might get out of being a fantastic astronaut or a fantastic stock broker. The important thing is the fantastic part.

G ... you know ... i'm right there with you. to many forks to choose from leaves me stranded in the middle of the road with indecision.

Perhaps it’s the spring, but I was just thinking about my own path taking (in life, not to New Jersey). I’ve often considered myself ill-equipped as a forger, but I recently looked around and saw 30 years of one right behind me--all zig-zaggy, rocky and covered in brambles, but mine nonetheless. Luckily I don’t have any decisions to make right now so I can just sit back and admire it!

PS - Just because a mountain is merely the product of willy-nilly geological shakeups doesn’t mean it is any less stunning. Which, of course, isn’t reason to be static but it’s a comforting thought in a naturalist sort of way.