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August 26, 2006
What fits you?
Derrick and I are together in Houston, and today we went with my family to this museum of funerals. These are coffins.
My sister would like to be buried in a DVD player (body ejects), my bro-in-law would be a plasma screen TV, my uncle would be a hot dog with mustard, relish, and onions, my aunt would be buried in a giant green chile or a kitchen blender, and I would like to be in a coffee cup or a chocolate bar. I really want to be cremated, so maybe a coffee urn?
If you had a custom funeral coffin, what would it be?
Posted by G at August 26, 2006 06:27 PM
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Comments
God help me, I'd be buried in a photon torpedo casing. Luckily, though, I plan to be cremated.
Posted by: Jeffrey at August 26, 2006 08:21 PM
I don't really need a coffin. I've made a list of people (most of whom pissed me off at some point) and I'm to be cremated and blown into their faces. (Gee I hope I leave enough ashes!)
Executrix(*): You Bob Smith? Attended XZY High, in 1978?
Bob: Yes, why?
Executrix: Holds out hands and blows
Bob: kof kof gag
(*)I'm having a female execute my will because I think "executrix" is such a cool word.
Posted by: Jim (The Canuck One) at August 26, 2006 08:39 PM
a giant iPod. no, really.
Posted by: brian at August 27, 2006 05:02 AM
hmmmm... a giant black dick? I've always fantasized about coming back as semen, maybe that'd be a good start... otherwise an oversized drumstick (the instrument, not the food...)
Posted by: tay hota at August 27, 2006 10:52 AM
Burials/cremations are for luddites. I'm going out like this, yo: http://www.lifegem.com/
Who wants some bling?
Posted by: Stephen J. Xanthos at August 28, 2006 09:23 AM
Lots of professional mourners wailing and pulling at their hair. Followed by an Indian buffet.
Posted by: homer at August 28, 2006 01:46 PM
Uch, no burials for me. I think it's socially irresponsible to take up real estate in our increasingly crowded planet after you're dead. I mean, unless you actually WERE someone where people more than a generation after your death would come by and say, Wow, here lies George Washington/Richard Wagner/Oscar Wilde/Rick Astley/etc., cool!, then just burn yourself up and get outta here. I want my ashes tossed in the Grand Canal in Venice.
However, if I had to be buried, I really do like that chicken sarcophagus. Probably no one else in the cemetery would have one.
Posted by: Andy at August 28, 2006 08:48 PM
Custom coffin? Does it matter when you get cremated? Plus, since I won't have a body, I can't go to hell right? Maybe I should get a coffin, something tasteful, like a flaming torch.
Posted by: copperred at August 28, 2006 09:24 PM
stainless steel mobius strip
Posted by: Spencer at September 8, 2006 06:09 PM