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September 04, 2006
What I wanted more than anything else
(Photo courtesy of Steve Conley's great comic website)
I used to love looking in the back of comic books at the ads. I didn't care so much for the x-ray goggles or fake rubber dog poo, although I did end up having sea monkeys. I remember being VERY disappointed that they didn't have crowns.
What I wanted, more than anything else in the world, was to build a hovercraft. It seemed like the ULTIMATE cool thing to make. It was cheap, too! Plans cost a paltry sum, and I would have gladly donated my dad's lawn mower to the task of transporting me on a cushion of air.
I became obsessed with the ad, dreaming all the time of how I would ride it to my elementary school. The kids would worship me, running alongside, begging for a ride. Would I let them? Hell, no! Where were they when I was a lonely geeky kid? This would be my revenge, watching them gnash their teeth and wail as I floated along, landing next to the bicycle rack.
My dad listened to my passionate plea, looked at the comic book, and sent me out to use the lawnmower for its intended purpose. I railed against the enormous unfairness of it all, and time went on.
Now I find someone who actually made it work. Make sure and watch the video.Hovercrafts are back in my dreams, but now I'm the cool math teacher crossing the Macombs Bridge into the Bronx on my hovercraft! Again, all the kids worship me, teachers gnash their teeth, and my nerd temple will be established.
Here's what I'm gonna buy:
All the plans are right here, and for the low, low price of 45 bucks! it was even referenced in Popular Mechanics back in 1986, so you know it would work!
Posted by G at September 4, 2006 05:41 PM
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Comments
How ignorant can ya get? Would you be willin' to go through all that trouble of goin' through the excruciating waiting time of gettin' your permit 'n' license for that crap? Plus, the vehicle would only hover, what, one foot at most? People would be lookin' down on ya, even IF the students were worshipping you, a hovercraft wantin' math teacher. Get realistic 'n' just get the present bike you own 'n' fix it up like this bike.
http://media.knuttz.net/0605/bizarre_vehicles/bizarre_vehicle_02.jpg
Quit livin' in a dream world, yo!
Posted by: Doug at September 4, 2006 07:32 PM
Glad to know I wasn't the only one who used to read Popular Mechanics and dreamed!
Good luck at school to you too!
Posted by: TOS at September 4, 2006 09:10 PM
I bought sea monkeys from an ad in the back of a comics book too. I also bought those x-ray glasses, but was very disappointed they didn't actually see through clothing. Lame.
Posted by: durban bud at September 5, 2006 09:26 AM
OMG, I remember those ads from way back when. Its funny the things that get dredged up 30 years later.
Posted by: Stash at September 5, 2006 01:25 PM
I always wanted the X-ray specs, so I could sneak a peek at the hot guys' naked parts!
Posted by: Bubala at September 5, 2006 03:14 PM
That rocks!! Go for it. I get to ride it whenever I'm in your area.
Posted by: Allen at September 11, 2006 01:19 PM