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December 06, 2006
Guesting
My Texan sister and her husband visited me over the weekend. They really are ideal visitors, as they are very low maintenance and make their own entertainment. They were great guests. How can you be a great guest in NYC?
1. There are many options. Many, many options. We live here, so when we give you ten choices, you must pick some. If you say "whatever," you MUST NEVER express unhappiness if we pick one for you. Even better, tell us what you want to do, and we'll tell you which ones we're willing to join. We don't go to Times Square, the tree in Rockefeller Center, or parades. We're New Yorkers, not crazy.
2. Never say "whatever" in NYC. We have EVERYTHING. Bonnie wanted to buy a special stamp for Christmas cards, so Derrick found her a store that just sells stamps and even had classes to show you how to make Christmas cards. If you want giant sculpture, we have it. If you want a dominatrix with poodles, we not only have it in NYC, I know her. I don't like the poodles, but she's very nice.
3. You're in NYC. Go out. If you want a vacation where you do nothing, go to a beach. This is NYC! No sleep for you.
4. We have to sleep. Unfortunately, we can't go out with you every night. We love you as a guest, especially when you can go out on your own and not make us feel guilty for having jobs.
That's about it, at least for me. Anyone else have some good rules?
Posted by G at December 6, 2006 07:17 AM
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Comments
New York must be like San Francisco, where someone comes to visit, stays on your couch, and then goes out every night to leather fisting orgies, comes home and says "I could never live here, it's so decadent!"
Posted by: MikeProv1 at December 6, 2006 08:48 AM
Wear comfortable shoes, because you will walk more than you're accustomed to.
Posted by: Tom at December 6, 2006 09:04 AM
Oh, I love this. I'm so quoting this. I'm not sure I could have written this better.
Posted by: Stephen J. Xanthos at December 6, 2006 10:50 AM
Walk on the right. Always.
Posted by: Helen at December 6, 2006 01:40 PM
(If you were a guest at my house)
5. Don't pull on the bathroom door too hard, as it'll fall off the hinges 'n' hit you on the head.
Posted by: Doug at December 6, 2006 05:53 PM
Cute or hot guests should drop their towel by accident in front of you after showering.
Posted by: homer at December 6, 2006 06:58 PM
When we give you a set of keys, do not lose them at The Eagle.
Next year, when you visit again, do not lose another set of keys at The Eagle.
Posted by: farmboyz at December 7, 2006 07:34 AM
One must visit Central Park at least once per visit.
I'll direct you to the Circle Line. I'll meet you after the Circle Line. I will not go ON the Circle Line. (Insert: Empire State Bldg, WTC site, in above comment.)
If you say: Olive Garden, TGIFridays or Applebees you are DEAD to me.
Posted by: Blobby at December 7, 2006 11:52 AM
5. ALWAYS check the inside of the stove before you turn it on. In NY, stoves are generally considered closet space.
6. Do leave generous cash gifts.
Posted by: henry at December 7, 2006 12:34 PM
Those were perfect... now how about some good hosting advice? Like.. always leave an extra set of keys, so guest doesn't have to wake and annoy an entire apartment building at five in the morning when returning in a drunken stupor... ;-)
Posted by: Alan at December 7, 2006 06:03 PM
Please, leave your car at home or try to park it for the duration of your trip.
Posted by: John Morris at December 7, 2006 06:13 PM
As an insomniac (ESPECIALLY when I travel), one for the hosts:
- Don't make a fuss when I want to stay in a hotel. I love ya (that's why I'm visiting, silly) but I'd rather haunt the early morning hours where I won't keep you and yours awake. Your home is lovely, honestly!!
Posted by: Jim (The Canuck One) at December 7, 2006 08:27 PM
"After three days, fish and guests smell bad"
Posted by: copperred at December 8, 2006 10:08 AM
There are over 16 THOUSAND non-chain restaurants in NYC, please do not suggest going to Red Lobster, Olive Garden, Applebees, etc. or we will have to shoot you!
Please do not take the Chinatown Bus and then expect to get chauffered to my home after it drops you off in Chinatown.
Posted by: George at December 8, 2006 04:20 PM
We don't eat dinner at 5 PM.
NYC restaurants don't even have "early-bird specials" until at least 7.
We don't eat in places that have "early-bird specials anyway."
Posted by: David G at December 9, 2006 01:53 AM
This is so, so true, haha! One of my guests wanted me to go with her on the Sex in the City bus tour. BUS TOUR?????? lol
Posted by: Yen at December 14, 2006 03:51 PM