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February 14, 2007
Disregard post if you have SAD
There is a reason why teachers in NYC get a break in February. WE NEED IT.
Even though my school is a huge jump above my last school, it is still a part of a flawed system. Being a small school has some advantages and some flaws. Advantages include smaller student body, so you know all the students, intimately work with a small group of teachers, and certain situations are more flexible. However, the small school makes certain things extremely inflexible, such as when students fail. Because certain classes can't be offered every semester, schedules are inflexible and have a hard time dealing with failing students. Also, the loss of even one teacher can have major repercussions for coverages. Everyone wears multiple hats, doing things that aren't normally done. This is usually good, as I'm with the best team of teachers I've ever had the pleasure of working with. This is bad when things begin to pile up, you're tired (and sick), and naps were excluded from the schedules back when I was a preschooler.
Personally, I'm battling inner demons. Being a really white teacher in a minority school makes me constantly question my own expectations for my students and my own teaching. Because of my background, I constantly feel I should reeavaluate my teaching methods and attitudes to make sure that insidious cynicism isn't affecting me. Are certain students failing because they feel I have lower expectations from them? After 5 years in the system, I can very quickly recognize signs of missing math in a student's work and adjust my lessons, but have I ever lowered the level of difficulty? I don't think so, but it is hard to find the time to really analyze this.
I also have a hard time balancing being tough/being nice, and my lessons suffer for it. My lessons are a little more organic/chaotic, as I really do make lessons where my students are supposed to develop their own rules. This definitely does not have me in a traditional front of the class, writing on the blackboard. Rather, the kids work in groups, find rules that work, apply them, and present them to the rest of the class. However, I really struggle with certain seriously disengaged students, and some boys view kindness as weakness. Around February/March, I begin to question my own effectiveness in a high-needs school.
This is why the break is necessary. Like I've said before, a hot sandy beach sounds really good right now.
Posted by G at February 14, 2007 09:20 PM
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Comments
I have SAD and read your post anyway. You sound like you're fighting the good fight ... and winning. Hang in there, recharge those batteries.
Are you sure there are no ultra-cheap "sun vacations" available? A few days of "beach and mojito" might be all you need.
Posted by: Jim (The Canuck One) at February 15, 2007 05:39 AM
Do you watch The Wire?
Posted by: Foxy at February 15, 2007 01:35 PM
Oh, for Klein's sake, you actually get your kids to *work* in groups, and you're worried about being a bad teacher? I'd hate to think what that means for me. My kids often behave best during a chalk 'n talk, when they can engage in the soothing activity of copying without actually thinking.
You mention failing students. I got programmed to teach 5 "repeater" classes this semester. There are a few winners and strivers in each group, but I fear that for many of them this won't be the last time they take the class. Those who don't remember history are condemned to repeat it, and all that.
Ah well. Maybe one or both of us will nevertheless wind up the subject of one of those Dangerous Minds/Freedom Writers/Ron Clark Story/Stand and Deliver movies. :-)~
Posted by: cohort 6 fellow at February 15, 2007 11:39 PM
I admire the hell out of what you do. Well, not just what you do but how you do it. In my 12 years of public school, I remember getting the impression from a grand total of two teachers that they were actually doing what you're doing: giving a shit. For the vast majority of them, it's a paycheck.
The reality of teaching to the lowest common denominator has just GOT to suck; adding a race card into the hand is enough to make a person whacko.
Enjoy your time off. Recharge!
Posted by: goblinbox at February 17, 2007 09:49 PM