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March 03, 2007
36=18x2.
I woke up with a start last night. Being a math teacher often means finding unpleasant math connections in life. This year, this last night, I realized that 18 years ago I was a senior in high school in Clovis, NM. After that, my dreams were weird links to old friends, one dream in particular of my car being trapped in between two buildings of my high school, some of the jocks rocking it back and forth.
I cracked out an old yearbook from a box under the bed today, that weird musty smell of old paper startling me, but not nearly as much as photos of myself, my old friends, my old life. Hair? I had hair? HSM (High School Me) wore 29 inch waist jeans loosely, weighed 130 pounds, and had a really big secret.
I was a pretty good guy. National Merit Finalist, Senior Class President, editor of the newspaper, friendly social church boy, proto-gay boy, that sort of thing. Unfortunately, I lived in a school straight from that horrible movie/tv show Friday Night Lights. Football is king in Clovis, NM. My school opened every football game with a prayer (usually for safety, but really for winning), coaches and players were gods, and my city worshipped every Friday night.
I can't watch that stupid show Friday Night Lights. Makes me too angry. All the characters are either jocks, cheerleaders, or support staff. No other person exists on that show, and that makes it the most realistic football show ever. Growing up in Clovis meant that no matter what you did, if it wasn't football, it just wasn't important. Of course I was in love with them just like everyone else. I would always surreptitiously look through the fence at the young gods practicing, always hoping that it was shirts vs. skins. I didn't realize that I was gay, I just knew that what I was doing was shameful and wrong. I was close friends with one football guy named Spicer Lewis. Real name, Samuel Spicer Lewis, named by his father after a war buddy.
One time, as class president, I had to go tell the coaches that I needed football players to escort the girls across the field at homecoming. I was walking through the locker room, trying not to look at the guys stripping around me. I didn't notice that I walked over the painted Wildcat mascot on the locker room floor, but my friend Spicer did. He told the rest of the team, and they all jumped up in their jock straps or less, grabbed me, and dragged me into the showers.
To be continued.
Posted by G at March 3, 2007 11:31 PM
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Comments
My ex-roommate is also from Texas, and has similar feelings about Friday Night Lights. He generally erupt into Tourettes-like verbal spasms if he passes it on the TV.
I guess I'm glad I didn't grow up in Texas.
Posted by: Foxy at March 4, 2007 11:31 AM
Yeah, Friday Night LIghts hits too close to home for me also, having grown up in West Texas,attending a 2a highschool with coaches who disliked me becouse I was perfectly healthy and refused to play football. Strange psychotic mindset.
Posted by: Allen at March 4, 2007 04:01 PM
Was your really big secret that you had hair? I bet it is/was.
Though I went to an all boys school, oddly enough I never had those football (or any other) encounters - if you know what I mean.
But for realism, My So-Called Life really hit w/me.
Posted by: Blobby at March 4, 2007 08:40 PM
You were hot then and you're hot now. (My yearbook pictures were black and white.)
Clovis? Wow...how remote. In high school I got a college catalog from Eastern New Mexico University in Portales. The nearest "big city" was Clovis. I gave them about 7 minutes consideration.
Posted by: Mike at March 4, 2007 10:49 PM
Is this a horror story or a fantasy? It's feeling more like the latter.
Posted by: Tony R at March 5, 2007 10:27 AM
I would have had the biggest crush on you in high school.
Posted by: homer at March 5, 2007 12:40 PM
i had almost forgotten what hair looked like on G.
Posted by: brian nesbitt at March 5, 2007 01:55 PM
This brings up so many memories of my high school days. Looking forward to part two....hope it doesn't make me sad. BTW, you were HOT in high school....and now. :)
Posted by: Archer at March 5, 2007 09:10 PM
It looks like Hollywood Clovis Squares.
And I ABSOLUTELY knew I was gay in high school. Not only was I TRYING to look at the guys stripping around me, I stole one or two pairs of underwear. (Funny shit seeing a freshly showered jock walking around trying to figure out where his boxers ran off to.)
Posted by: Chris at March 6, 2007 10:45 AM
Great photo. I'll never post any of mine because I had John Denver hair.
Posted by: Crash at March 6, 2007 01:22 PM
i think i would have had a crush on you as well. :)
Posted by: chris at March 6, 2007 01:44 PM
You were the class president? I also knew you were popular! haha! Anyway, I still can't figure out which one is you. I know you're not one of the girls and the black guy on top. *scratches head* Or and guy in the overly-long mullet!
Hope you're having a good Tuesday!
Posted by: Robert at March 6, 2007 06:20 PM
My high school was more like "Heathers". I would have been happy to see the entire place blown sky high...although I really liked eleventh grade for some reason.
Posted by: Kevin at March 6, 2007 07:20 PM
i've actually been to clovis, nm. i had a friend from college who was stationed at the air force base there. me and another college friend took a long road trip all the way from south carolina to nm and back. we went deep south states on the way out and straight i40 thru the center of the country on the way back. & note to self -- never take the deep south route across country again. scenes from deliverance abound. and trailer parks. lots and lots of trailer parks. mississippi was the worst. followed closely by louisiana and then alabama was a close third. basically, they all sucked.
Posted by: myke at March 6, 2007 07:50 PM
I was reading your story, very funny by the way, and thought that you would like to know that Spicer is doing well and lives in Evant, Texas. He is married, has a 7 year old daughter and one more on the way. His brother Pace is also in Texas and they both work on the same ranch together. Reply to this e-mail if there is anything you want me to tell him! Erica Lewis
Posted by: Erica Lewis at March 21, 2007 05:56 PM