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March 12, 2007
I swear bloody revenge upon thee
You know who you are. The bastard who subscribed me to all the latest clown events. Obviously someone did this to me, because spam can't be that inaccurate. Hahahaaa... No. Every email I unsuspectingly open, only to find a pic of a clown, doing... something.
Not funny. Not funny at all. Clowns do not occupy ANY of my happy places. I don't want to know about Slava's Snow Globes or whatever it was. It has clowns. I don't want to know about Spiegelword and clowns. I don't want to know about clown art, or clown shows, or clown classes. I'm relieved that someone I really like isn't becoming a clown. I would still love talking to him, but if he approached me as a clown, I'd run shrieking the other direction. I know that clowns can smell fear, but they can't run that fast in those giant shoes.
Clowns. Are. Not. Funny. At. All. I will find out who you are, and if you're one of my gay friends, I'm subscribing you to straight porn involving fat women with a fetish for halitosis. If you're one of my straight friends, I'm subscribing you to gay Amish porn. Dost thee want me to raise thine barn?
Posted by G at March 12, 2007 08:59 PM
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Comments
You know it can't be me when I want clowns like this.
Posted by: Doug at March 12, 2007 10:52 PM
I'm SO with you on this. Clowns aren't funny. Ever. Under no circumstances. They're pure evil.
Posted by: mark at March 12, 2007 11:10 PM
I hate clowns toooooooo. Ohmigod, there are some very hot Amish men.
Posted by: homer at March 13, 2007 11:22 AM
oh my god. i hate clowns too but i have to admit....i wish i had thought of this.
Posted by: brian at March 13, 2007 03:21 PM
I absolutely hate clowns. I described this to my CFO once when we were on a retreat in Orlando, FL and went to see Cirque de Soleil. She thought it was hysterical. But there's nothing hysterical about those immortal, amoral clown things. Nothing.
I've got your back.
Posted by: Matt at March 13, 2007 05:06 PM
Evil evil evil. I saw "IT" on television many years ago. I saw "Killer Clowns from Outer Space". I just hear "do do do-da-do-da do do do do" and my blood runs cold.
Posted by: Jim (The Canuck One) at March 13, 2007 05:44 PM
I hear you on the clown hating.
Did you ever read IT by Stephen King? Talk about horrifying. That clown in that story freaked me out for good. I'm also freaked out by those awful Ringling Brothers "Bellobration" posters all over the subway. Who is that freak Bello? He needs to not exist.
T
Posted by: Tony R at March 13, 2007 06:13 PM
From Bozo to Poltergeist to Palliachi (sp)....they all suck.
Posted by: Blobby at March 13, 2007 07:24 PM
Oh, If only I had thought of that. That's pretty evil.
Posted by: allen at March 13, 2007 08:54 PM
That's horrible! Just out of curiosity, how do you feel about those big boys who play with balloons in a sexual manner? They seem a bit like clowns yet are hot. Does this cause conflict?
Posted by: copperred at March 14, 2007 11:36 PM
Poor G. Clowns wear those big shoes because they want you to think you can outrun them. Everything about them is calculated. Never forget that.
Posted by: Foxy at March 15, 2007 05:04 PM
Poor G! Not nice. I'm surprized so many people hate clowns.
Posted by: Lee at March 16, 2007 08:30 AM
1. Have two friends who went to clown school. Not, like, rodeo clown stuff, but, like, masque and mime and tumbling and stuff. They were both amazingly hot young men (!!!omgwtfbbq!!! were they hot). Apparently, modern clowning is chic-er than that old-school scary clown crap. And HOT BOYS. Did I say hot boys?
2. Amish porn ROCKS. *lol*
Posted by: goblinbox at March 20, 2007 03:15 PM