« March 2007 | Main | May 2007 »
April 29, 2007
Close Shave
I've been living here for five years, and I keep forgetting how badly my allergies knock me down every year. Because the beginning shifts back and forth, I can't exactly put a reminder in my calendar. I haven't wanted to do ANYTHING except make it through work.
Fortunately, I woke up on Thursday actually feeling like a normal human being. I even went with Derrick to the Patti Smith Concert. As a Patti virgin, I was extremely excited. Bowery Ballroom is a great intimate space and she was such a deft performer.
This weekend my friend David (boyfriend of a teacher friend) and I went to do something I haven't done in 12 years. No, it was not an orgy, but it DID involve a pole:
I really miss going to a barber. When I was a kid, I loved getting my hair cut. Waiting in those chromed chairs, reading comics and Popular Mechanics, watching the men in their barber coats. When I finally got into their chair, I loved the hydraulic lift, the wrap around the neck, and the questions that were basically ignored. As far as I can tell, no matter what I said, they always gave me the same haircut. I would always, ALWAYS get drowsy, especially with the clippers. I loved the buzz across my skin, especially as it went up my neck.
Not quite the same, but it was still pretty fun on Saturday. We went to 3-Aces, and my barber had been working there since 1963. Having someone else shave your head is a very different. He used one of those straight razors, and the hot foam was a nice touch. Cool guy, steady hand, smooth.
David's partner didn't really know he was doing this. Oops!
David went from this:
To this:
I think David looks really good without the hair, but obviously I like the style. The barber was getting a little tired of taking photos, or I would have had him take a photo with us.
Posted by G at 05:15 PM | Comments (17) | TrackBack
April 22, 2007
Pollination
All of my plans for the weekend were stalled by the release of spring pollen. It started with a drippy nose, but now has spread to a yarky cough, sore throat, and exploding skull. I slept about three hours Saturday night, so my Sunday has been a bit on the zombie style.
It was a terrific day outside, no matter what. My body will adapt, and then I'll be all giddy about all the nice weather.
Posted by G at 07:21 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack
April 20, 2007
TP debate
Derrick just turned to me during breakfast and smarmily decided he is winning the toilet paper debate.
First off, I do listen, as I used to floss after brushing, and now floss before brushing.
However, when it comes to toilet paper, he, and some other deranged others, are clearly wrong.
Toilet paper should be positioned so the roll goes over the top. Period.
An immediate search on wikipedia just taught me that they call it "poo tickets" in Australia. Heehee, poo tickets.
Posted by G at 07:55 AM | Comments (30) | TrackBack
April 18, 2007
'awwwwww' post
On a distant April 18th that happened to be a lot sunnier, I made the trek from Bushwick on the L train to the C train, then headed up to 81st. I was going to Central Park to have a study date with a guy. He had to work on his dissertation, I had to write up a section of my thesis on the remediation of multiplication strategies to middle school students.
It was a great date, writing and reading in the sun, talking, walking, laughing.
Fast forward to this morning. Both of us stumbling around, trying to get everything done on a normal day, except I also tried to slip a card into his bookbag ( I failed). By the way, it is really hard to find an anniversary card with two men on the front. I finally found one that had a Keith Haring on the front in the Love section. I left it on his desk for when he got home, along with a new pocket subway map card and a new key ring.
When I got home, he had a card, some chocolate, and some marzipan for me. I LOVE MARZIPAN. He cooked dinner, we watched some Law and Order, now I'm blogging while he's reading Angels in America.
He still puts the toilet paper on the roll wrong (squares over, not under), leaves his clothes everywhere, drives me crazy on the subway, and kills any of my plants I put in his study. We occasionally have some whoppers for fights. Most importantly, I'm a selfish, cranky little bitch, especially when I'm hungry. I have a lot of flaws that don't go on the blog. I look in the mirror, and it helps to see myself the way he sees me.
Still love him. He still loves me, I think. Happy anniversary.
Posted by G at 08:44 PM | Comments (16) | TrackBack
April 17, 2007
I want to go to Cuba
My friend Jerry hasn't blogged in some time, but he just had an excellent story about some of his travels. Makes me want to go myself.
Posted by G at 08:32 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Deliberate Flatulence
Nothing says 'fun Friday' like having a colonoscopy.
Because of some current family medical history and my last checkup (atypical cells discovered), my doctor recommended that I have a full colonoscopy. For those under the age of 50, this involves total fasting from my breakfast the day before until the procedure. Teaching while being ravenous is not a good thing, but I made it through. On the prior evening, you have to drink this mixture all evening that, ahem, clears you out.
The procedure went well, especially since they had me on some anesthesia. With full video, the doctor basically jammed a sewer snake into my nether regions, and I got to have my own televised "Fantastic Voyage." I was laughing and whooping, apparently telling the doctor it looked like a roller coaster ride.
Afterwards, the REALLY INTENSE FARTING began. We're talking hours of it.
All the tests came out good. Glad I don't have to do that for another five years, hopefully.
Posted by G at 07:08 PM | Comments (15) | TrackBack
April 11, 2007
My really randomly bad taste in music
My friend Ty asked me about my music tastes, specifically what music I loved from any time period.
'Taste' would be an amusing description of the music I like. However, I went to iTunes, selected highest rated and most played, then sorted by albums. It's a bit depressing.
List of albums that I always thought were better than anyone else (and constantly listen to, and also guarantee that everyone knows I have randomly bad taste:
1. a-ha Memorial Beach
2. Oingo Boingo Boingo
3. Johnny Cash American IV
4. Eurythmics Savage
5. Tears for Fears Elemental
6. Hedwig Hedwig and Angry Inch soundtrack
7. William Shatner Has been
8. Pet Shop Boys Fundamental/Fundamentalism
9. Rufus Wainwright Rufus Wainwright
10. Sufjan Stevens Illinois
Go ahead. Mock me. But also admit ONE album that you hate yourself for loving.
Posted by G at 09:26 PM | Comments (18) | TrackBack
April 10, 2007
Whew!
So I'm sitting here in my SERIOUSLY COLD city where I have a boyfriend, a dog, and a job. I also have lots of pics, a torn fingernail, a nice redness to my skin, and a body that thinks that 8 pm is actually 5pm.
It was a really good trip.
First off, if anyone out there is looking to live out their hot gay archaeologist fantasy, I seriously would recommend Homer. Tall, funny, smart, sexy, furry, he throws a mean egg-decorating party, and from what I've heard, if he ever loses all his limbs, he'll still be able to knock on the door. Plus, he sure can dance the pole.
He also took me out to see his latest excavation, where I learned all sorts of cool things about burn rings, disinterments of bodies, and Tucson history. Who knew it was a flood plain? Homer did!
Being back in Arizona was a bit strange, as it has a lot of history for me. I was born there way back in 1970, and the majority of my dad's side of the family lives there. When I graduated from high school, I moved to Phoenix and lived here:
and went to church here:
On my way up to see my grandma, I went by my old apartment to see if it still existed. It used to have a peacock farm right behind it, and occasionally they would emit the bloodcurdling scream of a woman being killed. The complex was sometimes a bit dangerous, so the screams were sometimes birds, sometimes people. Good times.
I also drove past my old church, which has a lot of bittersweet memories. When I was younger, I was deeply passionate about my life in church and the people I met there. If I hadn't walked away from the church and come out of the closet, I would have been a youth pastor. I actually sat in the parking lot, debating if I would go in and see my old pastor Bob Hake, but I don't think he could deal with me being happy AND gay, and I couldn't have handled his disappointment in me. I was already stressed out about my impending visit with family, so I opted to just head on up to Prescott.
In order to deal with any impending confrontations, I fortified myself with the best armor possible:
Again, healthy food was not really an option for this trip.
Filled to the gills with meaty goodness, I wended my way into the northern mountains to see grandma. Grandma rocks, by the way. 90 years old, still drives better than most anyone else, and travels the world.
She also is seriously religious, and my father does not want me to come out of the closet to either her or the rest of his family. I don't like being in the closet, and I told my dad that I would only be 'straight' with my grandma. When you're 36, not married, and live in NYC, one would think she knows, as she does have a head with a brain. She doesn't ask me if I'm dating anyone, and I'm not going to discuss my sex life with a 90 year old woman whom I respect deeply. The rest of his family does not deserve my respect, so I was hoping to avoid them. I have a sanctimonious uncle who hates/fears gays, gives to Focus on the Family, yet he and his direct family have managed to break a huge number of the actual 10 Commandments (Number 1, 4,5,7,8,9, 10 to be exact), whereas my uncle really obsesses over obscure laws about man on man action in Leviticus. He also seems intent on bringing back slavery, as the bible allows it and NAFTA allows him to have a factory in Mexico. Bless him and his homophobic hair implants.
Seeing Grandma was good. We drove through Jerome, which is an old mining town, and to Sedona, which is one of the most beautiful places. It was shocking to see how much development was exploding across the desert expanse of both Sedona and Prescott, and Grandma talked about how saddening it was to see her towns ruined by strip malls and chain stores.
Everything was great with her until we got back to her home. The uncle's wife got there and prevented me from leaving until my sanctimonious uncle showed up, even though I had made it clear that I had many hours of driving to do after this. I then had to deal with over two hours of his anti-gay, anti-environment, anti-human rights, racist bullshit. I could have stood up, ripped him a new one, but my Dad wanted me to not come out of the closet, and my 90 year old grandma was right next to me. I just had to sit there and listen to him spew his hate and fear-filled nonsense (no, Al Gore's movie is not about saving owls, no, I don't have to wear blackface to get to my school in the Bronx, no, Hillary Clinton isn't the end of your patriarchal world). When I finally got to leave, I was shaking and about ready to scream. To add insult to injury, I got out too late to have the top down on the convertible. DAMN HIM.
I drove that night in an absolute rage, horrified at my own chosen silence. I was a wreck by the time I got to Palm Springs/Joshua Tree the next morning. Ahhhh, back amongst the rational people, I could feel myself charging back up. D & S were fantastic hosts, going with me into Joshua Tree National Park, taking me to see the ArachniBeetle, letting me get out the anger from the night before. Going into the silence of that eerie desert was the perfect antidote to the poison of the night before.
Palm Springs is a city of heat, really old people, and gay people. My favorite gay guy was a Thai restaurant manager who flirted outrageously with me, telling me to call him Peaches. Peaches served good food.
After I left Palm Springs, I got back to my favorite thing: driving in a convertible at around 85mph.
Nothing relaxes me like rocketing along in a convertible in the desert, music cranked, singing at the top of my lungs, feeling the engine rumbling underneath me, sun glaring down on me, sweat trickling down my chest, endless stretches of cacti and rocks sliding past me. Best thing in the world.
Back in Tucson, Homer was again the social god of Tucson. His non-religious egg decorating party was quite fun, involving tons of cool people. I discovered again that the artistic side of my brain is essentially dead. However, numerous other people made cool eggs.
Patrick didn't really understand the process:
And these two were so much fun, as the blond fuzzy one is a car god with a knowledge of cars that exceeded mine (this is a rare thing, as I know my stuff). His boyfriend is a blogger with a killer smile and abs who also likes cars and picking up heavy objects. Next time I'm there, they promised I could go to the Franklin Car Museum with them.
We went out the final night to a movie and to the gay bars in Tucson. We saw the movie The Host, which was great, except that the movie theater sold really good beer and I thought I was going to rupture about 90 minutes into the film. It didn't help when Homer let out a 'manly' yelp at a really scary moment, either. Arizona Chris managed to join us, which was a good thing:
The next morning, I took the car back to the airport wearing my warmest clothes and a little bit of synthesized vitamin D. It should last me until it gets warm here in NYC.
Thanks Homer, D&S, and all the people who helped me recharge.
Posted by G at 07:47 PM | Comments (15) | TrackBack
April 08, 2007
Healthy eating and other hazards of Arizona
Things have been fairly good. Had a batch of bad family for about 2 hours in Prescott, but otherwise have had such a great time. I really had not expected Joshua Tree National Park to be so spectacular, as I've seen a LOT of desert in my life, but it was so peaceful and utterly different than any other area I've seen.
Back in Tucson, the egg festival at Homer's house was a hit, with me acting like a Republican in Florida to win 3rd place. Here's a pic of Homer doing his special egg-dipping technique:
I'll post more pics once I'm back in freezing NYC.
I've also been eating a sensible diet that is on my own special food pyramid.
Life is good. I even have a wee bit of a sunburn.
Posted by G at 01:21 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack
April 06, 2007
Which National Park did I just go 2?
'You too' would be so pleased to be there. It was amazing.
Posted by G at 12:35 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack
April 05, 2007
First days in Arizona
I did something in Arizona I never do. I rented this:
Okay, actually I really wanted this, but couldn't afford it online. Since they didn't have my car available, they offered me this stallion for only $10 extra a day. V8, automatic top, and iPod connector. Yum.
Posted by G at 10:27 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
April 03, 2007
Anniversary of worst teaching moment in my life
Last year, I was at _________ school in Region ________. If you look back in the archives here and here, it gives you a sample of what it was like. The school was a nightmare, overflowing with seriously incompetent administration (the WORST principal and assistant principal I have ever seen), abandoned kids, and seriously unsafe hallways. Unfortunately, I was not an expert in how Google works, so when my principal was indicted for stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars from his prior school, I gleefully linked to that article.
Silly, silly me. When anyone searched either the name of my school, the name of the principal, or the news article, my blog was the number one search hit. I just meant to point out that a man who treated a school, its teachers, and its students like a prison deserved to be sent to a prison.
My first hint that my blog had been discovered was a teacher asking me if he had been the subject of one of the entries. I felt a bit uneasy, as this blog is more than just education. It got better, though, as I got a call from an assistant principal from another school who was a friend of mine. She asked me if I knew of this blog called Glennalicious, as the head of our entire region had distributed a 50 page printout to EVERY ADMINISTRATOR of every school in the region. I'm glad my friend was on the phone, as I didn't want to let her see me shitting a giant brick right there in my classroom. I found out that my evil principal had googled his own name, found my blog, and had downloaded the entire thing to his desktop to use as evidence against me. I was actually doing a good job, but this man was evil. He wanted to fire the parent coordinator so he could have his mistress take the position, so he had him followed by a friend for a few days. He cornered me one time and threatened to 'hurt' me if I ever brought up the school's finances in front of any regional administrators again. He terrorized the school, and he was going to use my blog as a way to blackmail me or get me into trouble.
He was removed from the school, but the regional boss saw the text file on my principal's desktop and opened it. After reading it, he printed it up and distributed it without my knowledge. Apparently it was an object lesson to administrators that no matter what they think they've hidden, it usually wasn't easy to keep a secret.
I was terrified I was going to be an object lesson too. I called the union, where a union legal rep yelled at me, telling me that no teachers should ever write about their students, especially if the student was identifiable. I took the blog down, examined all of my old entries, and came to the conclusion that it wasn't identifiable, except for the last entry about my principal, which suddenly made the school itself identifiable. However, I never identified any specific students, so I counted it as a lesson learned. To this day I've been a bit more circumspect about my teaching experiences, but I'm sure that a few of my current students and possibly other teachers know about the blog.
As a teacher, I have the responsibility to always make the students' welfare my priority, and I do, every damn day. I work harder at this job than I ever did at any other job. On some days, that is enough. On other days, it's a drop in the bucket. That's why I'm glad I'm out of that old school and also why I'm glad I'm on vacation right now. Bless the children and all that, but just keep them away from me for about a week.
Posted by G at 11:32 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack